I am in need of some advice from people who have been through something similar to me. I keep going round in circles and not sure I am ever going to be able to make a decision. I have one DS who is 3 and since I had him I have had 5 miscarriages. Ranging from 5 weeks to the last one I had in June at 14 weeks.
I was referred to the Coventry RMC after my 3rd loss, had a natural miscarriage whilst waiting for my appointment and was a few weeks pregnant when I finally got to see Professor Quenby. I was scanned and everything was fine, 12 week scan fine and then there was no heartbeat at 14 weeks. I had an ERPC and tests carried out on both the baby and myself. The baby tests came back about 6 weeks ago as chromosomally abnormal and my blood tests came back earlier this week as all fine. We've been given the all clear to try again.
This is the question. Can I face trying again. Can I go through another loss and come out the other side. My loss in June was so hard to cope with. It really hit me hard and I wasn't sure I was ever going to be OK again. I've spent these last 13 weeks recovering and I feel better. I've enjoyed the ttc break and I've focused my energy on my DS, my DH and a new job which I love. I've lost 2 stone so I'm now a healthy bmi.
So now it comes to trying again I am not sure. I am so desperate for another baby but I know that I could also be facing another loss. Does my fear of that override my longing for a baby? I think if those 5 babies and my heart breaks. I need something good to come out of all of this and I ache for a baby. I don't want to look back and think I should have given it one more go. Everything is healthy, I should try again. But then if I did fall pregnant my anxiety would be through the roof.
I'm going round in circles and I'm sorry for the long rambling post. I just can't seem to come to a decision. How can I put aside my fear in the hope of getting my longed for baby? Thanks for reading if you got this far!
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
To try again?
2 replies
BeyondHope · 08/10/2017 08:52
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