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Stillbirth & next steps..

(8 Posts)
Georgiarose95 Tue 15-Nov-16 19:01:40

Just woundering if anybody on here has had to arrange their babies funeral before? I've recently lost my baby and was thinking of funeral arrangements. Where do I start? There's so much to think of considering I have never met the fathers side of the family.. Do I consider them or should they be reaching out to me?

I've decided to make my own arrangements so I know that I can do the best and give the best I can to my baby! Plus it keeps me busy..

Just wondering if anybody has any advice, or tips that could come in handy or points that I may miss out.. Thanks x

wowwee123 Wed 16-Nov-16 11:47:45

Hi. Firstly i'm so very sorry for your loss.

My pfb was stillborn last year, i'm happy to share what we did if it helps?

I invited close family only so parents and siblings however looking back i wish i had asked close friends too. It was months after he was buried i took my friend to his grave and she broke down. it was obviously the moment she realised what i had really been through. i would have coped better if people knew in the very beginning.

we had a graveside ceremony as i didnt want a big church service. it was nice.

i requested no flowers and had balloons instead although a family member sent a wreath to the funeral directors. i was so glad of that wreath.

i hope you are doing ok xx

Georgiarose95 Wed 16-Nov-16 21:10:16

Hi so sorry to here you've been through this to its literally the hardest thing.

I was going to have a church ceremony and then close family.. I have invited one my friends that has been there for me since I fell pregnant. I think that's a lovely idea about balloons instead of flowers. I was recommended not to have wreaths as the graveside is only small where I am burying the baby. Thanks for the advice xx

wowwee123 Wed 16-Nov-16 21:19:06

u might be glad of one small wreath? for me it marked what we had lost to other people visiting the cemetery and seeing his grave.

with us having graveside service we just had a short reading no hymns or music to worry about and we met the funeral directors at the cemetery so we didnt have to traipse through town with everyone staring.

sometimes i wish we had indulged our grief a little more.

Georgiarose95 Wed 16-Nov-16 23:52:57

It sounds like you did a great job organising everything and I think I am going to do it the way you did as I have no clue how to go about things.. my baby's father just agrees to whatever I say. As I'm only 19 I have no idea where to start when it comes to funerals but I want to do it on my own you have been a great help.

I understand people deal with grief in different ways I wouldn't kick your self about it as that's how you dealt with it at the time x

wowwee123 Thu 17-Nov-16 09:57:16

do you have a funeral director and are you aware that they dont usually charge for babies funerals?

have you decided oñ burial or cremation?

you may not want to but it might be helpful to talk about it. im here if you want to?

what was your baby called? do they know what happened?

Georgiarose95 Thu 17-Nov-16 16:45:58

I will PM you if that is ok

gemm36 Thu 17-Nov-16 16:52:48

I went through this awful grief 17 yrs ago, one thing that I remember clearly was the funeral directors were amazing and very understanding when I really didn't know what was going on. I was also 19 and was a very scary and confusing time i hope you have some support from family. Xx

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