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No heartbeat found at 9+4wks, now 11wks and still no sign of miscarriage :-(

(4 Posts)
frocksyrocksy Fri 29-Jul-16 20:03:29

At 9+4 weeks I had a reassurance scan after having some brown spotting which showed the heartbeat had stopped at around 8 weeks. Heartbroken as 2 previous scans had shown a heartbeat. The sonographer said to give it 2 weeks to see if I have a natural miscarriage and if not they will look into either giving me medication to bring on the loss or carry out surgery to remove the pregnancy.
I had a natural miscarriage at 5 weeks in May which was physically easy to deal with at home. However I'm now 11wks with no signs of miscarrying this pregnancy, apart from some slight daily cramps I've not had any blood at all since the brown spotting at 9 weeks.
I'm going to the EPU on Monday to decide what action to take next and I was hoping for some advice please.
I think my main concern is something happening while I'm at home alone with my 3 year old son, I obviously don't want him to witness anything traumatic as I've read a loss this late can be very heavy and can result in needing to go to hospital if there is too much blood loss.
So would it be advisable to request the surgery on Monday to make this less heartbreaking? As knowing I've been carrying a baby with no heartbeat for 3 weeks has been bad enough let alone the not knowing how bad it could be if I carry on further and wait for it to happen naturally.
Sorry for the long post, just at a complete loss as to what to do as the medical professionals are very vague confused

Snowflakes1122 Fri 29-Jul-16 21:29:45

I'm so sorry :-(

Missed miscarriages are so cruel. I've just gone through one myself. My baby died at 11 weeks and I had to wait until 13 weeks until I got treatment due to hospital policy of insisting on two scans to confirm.

The wait is so difficult, I too was at home with the kids, having to go to nursery and worrying something would happen waiting. It didn't though thankfully.

I would request the d&c when you go in. The operation is fast and painless, and at least you know it's over. For me it was a relief.

I wouldn't want to wait and have a natural miscarriage at this stage. My d&c came after failed medical, and I had a traumatic experience prior to it. Wish I had chosen d&c to start with.
So sorry you're going through this flowers

frocksyrocksy Fri 29-Jul-16 22:42:08

I'm so sorry for your loss Snowflakes1122.
I know miscarriage at any stage is heartbreaking but for it to happen so close to the 'safety zone' just seems so cruel doesn't it ?:-(
Thank you for sharing your experience and I know nothing I can say can make it feel any better but I'm sending you support and hugs!
I think I will opt for the surgery route as I'd really rather avoid the physical (as well as the obvious emotional) pain and the risk of it happening when I'm out with my son/family/friends.
Best wishes flowers

Snowflakes1122 Sat 30-Jul-16 19:03:56

Thank you. I know what you mean-It feels such a cruel blow to be so close to that point we all start to feel safe. :-(

My heart goes out to you. Waiting for three weeks is so tough emotionally. Please be kind to yourself, and take it easy. The d&c will enable you to get out of this limbo and start to move on. I'm four weeks from finding out, and two post d&c, and I felt this huge weight off my shoulders when it was over. The past two weeks I have had my ups and downs, but emotionally I'm starting to get so much better. There is light at the end of this tunnel. flowers


Good luck on Monday

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