My baby has died :-(

[LordVoldemortsMissingNose]

I have just found out that my baby had sim topped growing at 8 weeks, I should be 10 weeks now. I saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks and just feel so ridiculously sad.

I'm booked for a ERPC on Monday but am really anxious about what may happen over the weekend. If I start to miscarry will it be an actual flood of blood? Trying to be prepared :-(

[LordVoldemortsMissingNose]

*stopped growing, sorry for typos

[Jeanniejampots80]

So very sorry for your loss

[HumphreyCobblers]

I am so sorry. It is such devastating news to get.

My experience is that I started bleeding very gradually, it wasn't at all sudden.

[ChampagneTastes]

Hopefully someone will be along shortly with some concrete information but in the mean time I'm so sorry for your loss. Is someone with you?

[Peach16]

Sorry I can't give advise on what will happen but just wanted to say so sorry for your loss!

[Imnotaslimjim]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

As to the practicalities, MC's can range from a light period like bleed to a gush of loss in on go that then trickles to a lighter flow. I've had 6 losses, all around this gestation and each one was different. Be very gentle with yourself, don't expect anything from yourself other than getting through each day. This waiting is the hardest part IMO, not knowing what is going to happen. I'll be thinking of you

[thatsn0tmyname]

Xxxx

[LordVoldemortsMissingNose]

You are all so very very lovely. I feel distraught that so many people experience this. I am a practical person and know that this just wasn't to be, but the sadness is awful. I feel like I want to tell people to validate that this baby was a real living thing, just for a very short time. I'm so sad so many of you have lost babies too, this is the he worst :-(

[JinkxMonsoon]

I'm so sorry

Take a look at this thread, it has lots of information so you can prepare yourself.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/miscarriage/1344311-Tips-for-coping-with-the-practicalities-of-miscarriage

[hownottofuckup]

I found my MC emotionally and physically hit me like a tonne of bricks. I didn't tell anyone which in hindsight was a mistake.
Be easy on yourself

[jetSTAR]

so sorry for your loss

[dippypanda]

So sorry for your loss, I'm going through the same thing now, I found out Tuesday, I should be 10 weeks too, we had a scan at 7 weeks which showed healthy bub with heartbeat etc. But scan on Tuesday showed baby stopped developing a couple of days after 1st scan. I'm allowing things to happen naturally for now.

Anyway just wanted to say you're not alone, I hope you're okay

[Helbelle75]

SO very sorry you're going though this.
I had a missed miscarriage 7.5 weeks ago now. I was 11 weeks and baby stopped growing at 8.5. I started bleeding quite slowly throughout the day, then there was quite a rush of blood about 24 hours after the first spotting. There was a lot of blood and tissue for me. I had contractions as well. I had to send my husband out for 2 lots of incontinence pads - the thickest he could find.
This all happened at home overnight, then I went to the WPU for monitoring and fluids. The bleeding had subsided by then, but I was still passing tissue. I finally passed the sac at home the following morning, and then was bleeding on and off for the next 2 weeks. My period arrived exactly 4 weeks after my miscarriage.
There's the facts of it, and I know it's very different for everyone.
Emotionally, I was a wreck. I couldn't go to work, or face seeing people. I was, and still am, grieving my child.
What's helped me is talking to other people - there are so many women who have been through this and it's a bit of a taboo subject. We planted a rose memorial to our baby bean, and I'm having support from Cruse, the bereavement people.
Be kind to yourself, very kind, and do what feels right for you.
So sorry xxx

[LordVoldemortsMissingNose]

Thank you so much to everyone, I am so sorry dippypanda that you are going through this too. And Helbelle, thank you for sharing, I can imagine that it is still very raw.

[littlepooch]

I'm so sorry. I am just home after having an ERPC today following a Mmc. I still feel numb but at least physically hopefully the worst of it is over. I should have been 12 weeks today but discover at 10 weeks that the baby had died.

I've had two MCs before this and they both happened naturally, both started off with spotting before gradually getting heavier before I miscarried. This time I had nothing until this morning when I started bleeding like a light period but decided to go ahead with the ERPC.

Sending to you. It's such a horrible confusing scary time. Please give yourself all the time to grieve, cry, shout, scream, talk - whatever helps you. I'm still so numb but I know it will hit me in the coming days. Xxx

[LordVoldemortsMissingNose]

Thank you littlepooch, I am so sorry for your loss . It just feels so strange, i don't feel any different but it's like carrying around the saddest little secret you could imagine, at a time when I should be happy and excited. I think I just need some closure now, the anxiety of wondering what might happen is awful x

[starsandstripes2016]

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry to you for your loss.

[KittensandKnitting]

Hope your doing as well as can be expected OP, it is a truly heartbreaking and devastating thing to go through, I'm so so sorry

If it does happen over the weekend along with all the advise here do call the EPAU if you have one and it's open over then weekend or go to A&E the one I had at 7 weeks was very painful and I needed stronger painkillers laying on your left hand side also help, but if it does happen with lots of support and kindness you will get through it.

I'm so so sorry your going through this and if you need to talk then let it all out here I will check in tomorrow, I have sadly been through this way to many times and have found talking to people who really understand the most valuable thing and if I can help in some small way then I will.

So sorry to all the other ladies who have experienced this, it's such a lonely place to be but doesn't always have to be.

[Paige84]

So so sorry for your loss. My own loss was quite different so I'm sorry I have no practical information re what to expect but wanted to say I'm thinking of you. Look after yourself x

[LordVoldemortsMissingNose]

Thanks again to everyone, sorry we've all been in such a sad place. Nothing is happening so far, so just hoping that it stays that way until
Monday. I'm comfortable with the idea of medical procedures and not worried about the actual op in Monday, just need to move on physically now x

[KittensandKnitting]

It's a very sad place to be

If you do find you need some support please do reach out

[littlepooch]

Best of luck for tomorrow OP if you are still booked in. If you have any questions re the ErPC then just shout x

[Lilacpink40]

Life can be so shit at times. You sound like you're keeping a grip and I hope you have support in RL.

I had an ERPC years ago after a molar preg. It was a very straightforward procedure, but I was very tearful when anaethetic wore off. After 6 mths of tests I went on to have another preg with no problems. I still look at my son age 6 and think now he's also my sun - light after darkness.

Come back on MN tomorrow and you'll find others going through similar experiences or have gone through it and whom empathise with you.

[LordVoldemortsMissingNose]

Thanks everyone, I had the ERPC yesterday, which was actually very straightforward. I had bad bad cramps last night and couldn't sleep but barely any bleeding so quite relieved.

The worst part was when the nurses confused me with another patient and merrily asked me to do a pre surgery pregnancy test, to which I burst into tears as I had to explain in front of all the other patients that pregnancy loss was in fact the whole reason I was there. Not the best really.

I feel generally quite positive now, glad it's over and looking forwards to the future. Thanks for all the support, you've been lovely