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Dealing with GP

(3 Posts)
SharedLife Mon 23-May-16 12:46:12

At the 12 week scan it was discovered that the baby we had been trying 6 years for had acrania/anencephaly. We chose to medically end the pregnancy at 13 weeks. I am bereft. Baby was delivered 3 weeks today. He was beautiful and the hospital were amazing, letting us spend time with them, giving us a beautiful memory box and arranging a very dignified burial.

I just went in to get my doctors note extended. I took the letter that the hospital gave me, which has all the medical info in it. As I sat down the first thing he said was, "You've had a termination." It was so matter of fact it really startled me. I haven't been thinking of it in that clear cut way. He asked why I had made the appointment. I said I'm not ready to go back to work after the termination, I haven't come to terms with it yet. He said, "Why did you do it then?".

I burst into tears and blurted out, I didn't want to, it was because the baby had anencephaly!
He obviously didn't know and was visibly shocked and put his hand on my arm. After that he was pretty good, suggested three more weeks off and counselling. Offered me reassurance that it wasnt my fault etc.
The start of the appointment just really knocked me for 6. I cried all the way to work to hand the note in, just pulled it together enough to hand it in, the lady at recepetion gave me a lovely sympathetic look and that set me off again. Sobbed all the way home.

Also he wouldnt put miscarriage on the doctors note (the consultant at the hospital did) but insisted on putting termination. I'm not ashamed of it, it was the right choice, but it just upset me. The baby was going to die in a way that wasn't my choice anyway- I just chose to control when that was to stop them suffering.

I'm sure the doctor was well within their rights to say it like that but it just really upset me.

I'm not sure why I am posting this really, just need to tell someone.

redstrawberries101 Mon 23-May-16 17:03:56


Didn't want to read and run. That is a terrible way for the GP to have behaved. Not very professional at all. He sounded judgemental and he had no right to do that. However there will always be people in life who play that role. You know you made the right decision for you and thats the most important thing. Please don't be hard on yourself and take it easy.

RaeSkywalker Mon 23-May-16 17:11:16

I'm so sorry Shared. I hope that the counselling helps you- are you able to see another GP in future to avoid this one?

I hope that today has reminded your GP that he shouldn't make assumptions about his patients. What a horrendous experience for you flowers

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