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2nd Miscarriage

(4 Posts)
randomuser64746 Thu 17-Dec-15 11:01:17

Last christmas we our little one at 8 weeks. My wife was in hospital for a week with severe morning sickness and was massively dehydrated vomiting every couple of minutes it was just awful. We were told this is a good sign but things didnt work out. We did however concive first month of trying which was great but its taken us 12 months to get pregnant this time and the cycle every month of constant disappointment was heartbreaking especially when we went past its due date and the date we conceived last year.

Anyway we are now finally pregnant again but we are prettified of another miscarriage. She had bleeding and cramps a few weeks back and we went for a scan should have been 8-9 weeks but was only showing 5. They tried to dismiss this due to late ovulation and implantation but I wasn't really happy. HCG levels were low (5000 ish) but for 5 weeks there were correct and so this eased things a little. We have another scan on Tuesday 23rd but im sure this is not going to be a viable pregnancy. Its all I can think about 24/7 and we are both so stressed its driving us crazy. Midwife meeting on saturday and I so dont want go and discuss hospitals and birthing options as I feel its going to be a wast of time.

Why do i feel like this apart from the small size on the scan which is so samll and this stage its hard to date accurately. Well there was a heartbeat at the scan which is good but my wife has not been sick once, all pregnancy symptoms have gone (constipation, dizziness, frequent urination, sore nipples the lot). Whats worse is im such an optimistic person I never feel like this ever but im so sure its all over. It was a missed miscarriage last time and feel thats happened again.

I just wish i had the strength to be there to support my wife. She took it so hard last time the last year she has been so depressed and down and there is nothing I can do to make her happy. We just moved into a nice 5 bed detatcehd house and want to decorate a room for a baby but cant even contemplate it.

I feel so shitty and low and wish i was excited about finally getting here after a year of trying but I feel is worried and scarred and not about being a father, that would be fantastic but i have never felt further from that goal.

I know i have to bottle my shit up and be the pillar of strength my wife needs but the stress from this plus other things (running a business, renovating a house, caring for my terminal nan etc) its overwhelming. I just want tuesday out of the way, get the bad news dealt with and try to get on with my life.

I wish so badly that things were better this time round but in my gut im sure things have gone wrong.

whoever reads this please send out a little prayer or thought to whatever deity you believe in and prey for a little Christmas merical for us

GloriaHotcakes Thu 17-Dec-15 11:04:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

randomuser64746 Thu 17-Dec-15 11:23:19

thank you for your thoughts.

Just a call from here and work, she is bleeding bright red blood, not lots and no clots, just when she wipes but is now really scared and worried at work....

what makes it worse is shes a nurse and running a baby clinic giving babies immunizations today....

im just so Frustrated and everything and everyone right now. We do everything right, we are both really good people do loads for charity and incredibly healthy, neither of us drink alcohol, smoke or take drugs we are financially very stable been married for years and yet we are the ones who are finding it so difficult.

I just feel that the one thing my wife wants more than anything else is a child and its the one thing I'm not able to provide for her.

HTKB Thu 17-Dec-15 12:32:22

I'm so sorry to hear this. You've perfectly summed up how I felt after my second mc. Sad, resigned, hopeless, fucked off. When I got a BFP again I was actually bloody livid that I was going to have to go through all this crap again (convinced it would be a third loss). I was fuming actually, although we had been trying to get pregnant!

Anyway, I'm 27 weeks pregnant now. Everything is fine, touch wood. It took 2 years and two losses but all the way through my head and intellect knew that actually my chances of success were still greater than those of failure, even if I didn't feel it. A few miscarriages are, I hate hate hate to say, normal. A normal part of a normal couples reproductive journey. You're just at the sharp end now.... But the two of you can get pregnant. You will get pregnant again. It will, at some point, work. Don't forget that, even though you need some time at the moment to wallow in anger and sadness, come back to that. It will work.

I'm wishing you absolutely all the best xx

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