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12 week scan showed second baby had died at 8 weeks

(19 Posts)
CheersMrSunfresh Sat 28-Nov-15 17:50:28

I hope it's okay to post about this here. I had my 12 week scan yesterday which showed a healthy wriggly baby, which I am so so grateful for. But it also showed I had been carrying twins but that the second baby had died at about 8 weeks. Initially the relief and happiness of seeing one wriggly baby was overwhelming but now I feel very sad and a bit numb. I can't stop thinking about the second baby, and I'm now worrying about the future of the wriggly baby that we saw on the screen. Has anyone else been through this? I know it is early days in processing what's happened but I'm feeling a bit lost.

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH Sat 28-Nov-15 17:51:48

I haven't been through this personally but didn't want to read and not reply. I'm so sorry for your loss I can't imagine how it feels, I hope the rest of your pregnancy with your remaining fighting bean goes well flowers and cake.

RoTo72 Sat 28-Nov-15 18:23:59

I'm so sorry to hear that. My scan showed my baby died at 6 weeks. Its heartbreaking. I had an erpc yesterday. I didn't have twins so I cant offer advice, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you

CheersMrSunfresh Sat 28-Nov-15 20:32:40

Thank you very much Icant.

RoTo72 I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for replying whilst going through what must be such a difficult time. I'm thinking of you.

RoTo72 Sat 28-Nov-15 21:41:26

Really hope everything goes well for your baby. Xx

LondonStill83 Sat 28-Nov-15 21:42:48

I am so sorry to hear that.

I don't have any advice to offer, but wanted to extend my thoughts nonetheless!

birdsdestiny Sat 28-Nov-15 21:52:59

Am so sorry. I found out my baby had died at the 12 week scan, I went on to have my second child who is now 6. I have a lovely family but still think about the baby I lost. Its OK to think about your baby and grieve, and still feel joy for your lovely wriggly baby.

eurochick Sat 28-Nov-15 22:14:04

This happened to my bestie. It's very common (called a vanishing twin), although that doesn't make it any less upsetting. Often unless you have an early scan for some reason (in her case because it was an IVF pregnancy) you'd never know as the twin wouldn't be visible at 12 weeks. It doesn't mean anything bad will happen to the remaining foetus.

EllieJayJay Sat 28-Nov-15 23:31:27

Oh Ro honey X I know you from the July thread X im so sorry xx

Batmam Sat 28-Nov-15 23:44:59

This happened to me op, 6.5 week scan (ivf) showed twins but by 10 week scan it showed the second baby died @ 8 weeks. I did worry I was going to bleed (didn't) and asked the surgeon to see if she could see it during the c/sec (couldn't) Other that I tried to be pragmatic and think the baby just wasn't meant for this world. Had no other problems and DD was born healthy. I kept the scan pics of the twin and put them in DD's baby book and I'll tell her about him/her one day.

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you the best for the rest of your pg thanks

CheersMrSunfresh Sun 29-Nov-15 07:38:07

Thank you all.

Birdsdestiny I'm so sorry for your loss. I know the second baby will never be forgotten and I'll try to take comfort in thinking that they'll always be a part of me somehow.

I just feel such conflicting emotions of relief to have one healthy baby but sadness of having to say goodbye to the other and feeling guilty that I didn't know they were inside me whilst they were alive.

Batmam, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a devastating shock to have known you were having twins and to then find out one had died. It's reassuring to hear your DD was born healthy.
I wish we had been given a photo which included the second baby, the sonographer was almost quite dismissive about what had happened and on reflection seemed to minimise it, saying something along the lines of "we're obliged to tell you this" rather than recognising the loss that had taken place.

RoTo72 Sun 29-Nov-15 08:46:24

Oh that's so unfair cheers. A loss is a loss no matter how far along r how many dc u have. Hi Ellie

CheersMrSunfresh Sun 29-Nov-15 09:25:44

Thanks RoTo. I am blessed with two ds, 2 and nearly 4, so I have a great deal to be thankful for. Stupid question but how are you doing at the moment? Sending you my very best wishes.

RoTo72 Sun 29-Nov-15 09:32:22

Honesty. Horrible. Started bleeding last night, so have that to add to the hopeless feeling of loss.

CheersMrSunfresh Sun 29-Nov-15 09:51:30

I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you have support around you? Take care of yourself. Sending you hugs, thinking of you xx

RoTo72 Sun 29-Nov-15 09:55:05

Thank you. You take care too. It's horrible for everyone in this situation x

Secondtimeround75 Sun 29-Nov-15 10:05:14

This happened my friend

She says her new baby is both her babies in one.

X

EllieJayJay Sun 29-Nov-15 15:51:29

That's lovely second xx

Floralnomad Sun 29-Nov-15 16:07:47

I lost a twin at 12 weeks and the surviving baby is 23 in January , I didn't know I was expecting twins until I had the miscarriage . Sorry for your loss .

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