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2nd miscarriage - feeling blue - so many questions, need some answers!

(3 Posts)
SashaKerr Sun 07-Dec-14 19:06:02

I realise I am in a fairly lucky position given I have a DS aged 21 months, but 2 miscarriages have left me lost, doubting my body and my chances of having a baby again.

The first was a MMC in August 2014 at 12 weeks. I left it 2 weeks but the full pregnancy was retained and I had an ERPC.

The second was discovered on Thursday. I was meant to be 10 weeks and the week before they'd found a foetal pole and sac but there was nothing there, no pregnancy site, only 'irregular cysts'. This one barely made it out the starting blocks.

Both pregnancies I got pregnant on first month of trying, with a fairly military regime of pee sticks and ovulation checking.

I'm reading as much as I can but find this forum invaluable for advice. I have so many questions. Can I ask them here?

1. If I have absorbed the pregnancy site, can I just leave the blood clots to come out naturally? Has anyone had experience of this? Are there any downsides to this? Just don't think I can bear sobbing in the anaesthetic room outside theatre again.

2. I know they won't test me until I miscarry again but are there easy tests I can ask my GP to do - like vitamin deficiency, hormone imbalance etc? Basically what can I find out now, if anything?

3. I am worried that getting pregnant quicklu shows a lack of selection. Is it worth laying off the pee sticks and just chilling the f*+k out a bit more next time to allow things to happen a bit more organically? Is there any advantage to waiting a bit longer to start trying again?

4. Are there any holistic treatments that can help? I love reiki and reflexology but have heard acupuncture can help? Anything else?

5. Anything I can do to improve the quality of my eggs? I know exercise, cut down on booze and caffeine, have folic acid. I am slightly reticent about vitamin pills as had lots of pregnacare multi vit before and during both pregnancies and didn't help, and I've read a Danish report that said taking multi vits can increase chance of muscarriage?

Sorry for all the questions, for me I expect this is trying to get back some control over my life after all this chaos.

CalicoBlue Sun 07-Dec-14 19:36:20

I am sorry to hear of your mc's. I have had three mc and two healthy dc. I will try to answer your questions:

1. You can leave your body to naturally expel the poc. It can take while though. I did that with my last mc, as I could not cope with the hospital either. I bled a little bit then it stopped, then after two weeks, I had a lot of blood, a little pain and it was all over in an afternoon. I was at work and managed to carry on so no one knew anything was happening. Just make sure your have some heavy flow pads to hand. Though if you continue to have pain, or smelly discharge you will need to see your doctor to rule out infection.

2. I have no experience of this. Though I do not think that you would be considered high risk at 2 mc. Worth talking to your doctor about.

3. I have had all sorts of different advice on this. I don't think there is a problem ttc immediately, just do what feels right for you. Maybe chill a bit and just see what happens.

4. Most therapies and treatments will help infertility, though this is not you. If there is an embryo that is going to have problems and mc, I do not think much can help, apart from good diet, lots of sleep etc.

5. I do not think anything can improve the quality, but you can make sure they stay goo. You just need to make sure your overall health is good and you look after yourself.

Good luck and try and relax.

ShutUpLegs Sun 07-Dec-14 19:51:29

I had two m/cs prior to DD1.

The first took place in hospital, the second I weathered at home with a lot of deep breathing. I had a bad evening and then as PP said, a week or so with bleeding and then another bad afternoon. Keep pads handy and don't think twice about taking time off work or getting someone to sit with your DC1. The chemical comedown can be a bit mad too - I was very teary and all over the place for a while. As PP said, go to your GP if there is continuing pain.

TbH - you can tie yourself in knots thinking that there is something that you can do to influence the outcome. Just look after yourself, eat well, sleep well and trust to the process.

All the best.

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