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Early miscarriage and still think about it all the time....

(6 Posts)
babygirl6666 Fri 11-Apr-14 01:41:55

At the beginning of january i had a miscarriage. I was 4 week. I feel like i shouldn't even be upset about it because people go through a lot more when they are pregnant for longer and then loose their baby. Also, its like the doctor didn't even acknowledge i was pregnant so basically just said i'm not pregnant anymore. I had to get it out of her that i must of had a miscarriage. I just cant help thinking theres something wrong with me. Me and my bf haven't used protection for at least 3 or 4 years and nothing has ever happened. Not until january. We are 24 so i keep trying to reassure myself it will happen one day but its awful every time i come on. I hate it. Just wish it would just happen.

VenusDeWillendorf Fri 11-Apr-14 02:37:32

So sorry for your loss.

You must have had a big connection with this little fleeting life.

As a Buddhist, I always feel that MC are blessings where the little one has done what they needed to do and they have got what they needed from you, and they have fufilled their karma with you.
I had a few MC at 3 and 4 weeks, and always though of them as a life, just not one that needed to continue on to be born at that time.

You may see that little babe again.

Take care, sorry again for your loss.

lovetheseasons1 Fri 11-Apr-14 02:39:42

I'm really sorry to hear you have experienced this. It's good that you have reached out for support. I had two early MC's and felt rather bereft after each. Everyone's circumstances are different, with their own personal reasons and their own need to grieve. Perhaps if you could see this as a need to grieve you might allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. The hope of a pregnancy is a very exciting moment and to have that hope dashed can be very upsetting.

Given that you have been trying for a long time I would really encourage you to ask your GP for some tests for you and DP. Also if you talk to your partner about how you're feeling I'm hoping you will get some support and that they will get an opportunity to share their feelings too,


babygirl6666 Fri 11-Apr-14 08:13:59

Thank you for your comments. Just feel i needed someone to talk to as i feel silly for being upset about it as it was only 4 weeks. I feel like when i do speak to my friends they dont really understand. Thanks guys. X

marshmallowpies Fri 11-Apr-14 10:34:41

I miscarried at 9 weeks on Saturday and went to see the GP yesterday, about other things mainly but ended up sobbing in her room for ages.

She said - and it felt really good to hear this - it IS a bereavement and you are allowed to behave as if it is one, you ARE allowed to grieve. Hearing someone else say that has made me feel a lot better about being sad. Of course losing a baby closer to full term must be horrific and much more traumatic, but that doesn't mean what you're feeling isn't genuine. It IS OK to feel like this xx

Youdontneedacriminallawyer Fri 11-Apr-14 10:41:13

I miscarried 17 years ago, between my DDs. You do stop thinking about it all the time eventually, but from time to time I still think about what that baby would have been like.

With my scientific head on, I do realise that the pregnancy wasn't viable, that the foetus was probalby miscarried because it wasn't forming properly etc, and that helps a bit, but I still get a bit sad thinking about it.

At the time, it really helped having DD2, though I was really worried about miscarrying for the entirety of that pregnancy, when I hadn't really thought about it first time round. I realise that I wouldn't have had DD2 had the miscarried pregnancy gone to term, and she's great, and that helps a bit, but still.....

It's not the same for men, because they don't experience the physical symptoms of pregnancy, so dont' appreciate the loss as much. DH was sympathethic at the time, but didn't have to deal with the blood, cramps, and the feeling of a potential life slipping away. I even know the exact moment I passed the foetus.

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