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When is the right time to start trying again?

(3 Posts)
escorpion Thu 10-Apr-14 19:00:22

After two miscarriages last year I just have so many thoughts going in around my head as to when we should start trying again. I have recently started a temp job, hoping to see my family at Christmas (which means long haul) and I´m so scared that I could miscarry again (stuck in limbo as no option to carry out tests until 3 MC and no answers with regards to why it happened). I guess I am just looking for other experiences, I suppose I could always find some excuse not to try again, but is there really a right time?) I am 33 btw and no children as yet, so feel pressured to get things going. Oh and the amount of times people ask us when we are going to start a family/ we are both getting old etc? So difficult having to tell them of my problems sad

Forester Sat 12-Apr-14 18:31:38

I'm sorry that you've had MC's.

I also had two last year but we have continued TTC since but with no success yet (we do have a DD).

I'm not sure what stage your MC's were at but assuming it was at a fairly early stage if you did fall pg in the next couple of months that wouldn't cause any issue re your Christmas trip. I can see why you would want to avoid being away and pg at a similar time to your previous MC's but you can always stop TTC for a time.

But you just need to do what feels right for you.

bakingtins Sat 12-Apr-14 18:48:58

I think the right time is whenever you feel mentally and physically string enough. I agree with forester that you wouldn't want to travel long-haul at your 'danger point' but later in pregnancy would be fine. If you had to change Christmas plans because you were heavily pregnant and couldn't fly (only applies the last 6 weeks or so) then I'm sure you wouldn't be too upset about not going.
The stats are on your side for it to be fine next time, but if you were in the 1% who miscarry three times you could be getting the ball rolling on testing. I realise that probably sounds a bit callous since I've emerged the other side of that process, I'm not minimising the impact of putting yourself in that vulnerable position again, but there is a particularly difficult element to having had 2 losses in that you are devastated by it and find it difficult to believe it's just bad luck, but nobody takes you seriously in terms of investigation.
You do have the option to go private to get testing sooner, but even after 3 miscarriages they only find a cause on the standard tests 50% of the time, so you could spend a lot and not have any answers.
Tough decision. Wishing you a very successful pregnancy and that you'll be so huge by Christmas that they won't let you on a plane!

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