So what happens now?

[GingerPCatt]

Had a scan yesterday and there was no heartbeat . The baby was about 9 wks and I should be 12wks, so a mmc. I'm going for another scan tomorrow for my own piece of mind. But I'm not sure what happens now. If possible I want to be knocked out and it all over with when I wake up. But I won't be able to have the surgical option until sometime next week at the earliest. Is it likely that it will start naturally before then? If so, how will it start? Does it happen slowly or is there a sudden gush of blood? I just want to be prepared.

[greeneone12]

Hello

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a scan at 6 weeks and everything was fine. Had my 12 week scan Monday and there was no heartbeat.....apparently measured about 6 weeks and 4 days. Two hours after my scan I started bleeding.

I am so sorry you can't have the procedure sooner. My bleeding was very light and steady.

Maybe someone will come along soon who knows more. I am sorry we are having to go through this.

I started to feel ok towards the end of yesterday but feel very sad today and just want to cry.

[Bakingtins]

I'm v sorry, ginger. If you chose to "wait and see" you would miscarry eventually but since your body has not recognised over the last 3 weeks that the pregnancy has ended, it could be a long wait. Impossible to say whether you will miscarry whilst waiting for an ERPC or not. You would normally get some warning that the miscarriage is starting, most people would have some spotting and cramping before any heavy bleeding started. I would be prepared with maxi pads, clean underwear and painkillers in your bag, just in case.
You may find this thread helpful in terms of what to expect, and the Miscarriage Association is a good source of information about your choices from this point onwards.
I'm very sorry you find yourself here, there is plenty of sympathy, virtual hugs and hand holding whenever you need it.

[Bakingtins]

X posted with greeneone - sorry for your loss too.

[GingerPCatt]

Thanks. It comes in waves. It doesn't help that it seems like everyone I know us pregnant or just had a baby. My best friend is due the month before I would have been. I'm happy for them, but... you know. I have a 2 yo DS who is keeping me going.
I guess I just have to wait and see what happens physically.

[greeneone12]

Ginger how are you feeling today? X

[GingerPCatt]

Low. Had another scan and everything was as expected. I'm booked in for the surgery on tues. So hopefully nothing will happen before then. I just want it all over with. My mom arrives tomorrow so she'll be a big help with looking after DS.
After this I don't want to try again. DH and I haven't discussed it yet and I'm not sure how he'll feel.

[greeneone12]

Thank goodness your Mum can come and help. I really hope nothing happens before Tuesday. I went 6 weeks without knowing what had happened and my body didn't react until that 12 week scan.

In terms of trying again my partner won't really discuss it. At the moment I feel as if it would just be too hard but I think it will be a while until I can think about that stuff logically and sensibly.

I am so sad we are on this board but there is comfort knowing your not alone. X

[GingerPCatt]

Thank you greenone. It sucks but I believe that there was something seriously developmentally wrong with the baby which is why it didn't survive. DH has taken the day off- his boss knows and is lovely about it all. I'm trying to get the house into shape for mom arriving. She won't care but it makes me feel better.

[maybemyrtle]

So very sorry for your loss. I had similar last year, it's devastating isn't it. My heart goes out to you.

Mine had stopped progressing at 7-8 weeks so the drs were keen for me to have an ERPC asap. The op itself is ok, but be kind to yourself in the following weeks and months. It didn't hit me properly for about 6 months (around the due date in fact ).

Glad you've got support around you - take care xx

[greeneone12]

I have been trying to keep busy but yesterday a trip to the supermarket ended in floods of tears and last night doing the washing I got stabbing pains in my tummy :(

Today I have basically stayed in bed!

So glad your DH boss is nice. Mine has been signed off with sick leave. He has been a rock.

Maybe I am sorry for your loss. I have found reading these posts very useful as in my head I see myself back in the office next week but know I will still be feeling this for months to come - from what other people have said.

[greeneone12]

Thinking of you ginger x

[Snoopingforsoup]

Sorry for your loss Ginger and yours Greenone.
I had a MMC in March and I still pop on here and read the board, usually when I'm thinking about how pregnant I would have been right now.
I found a lot of good advice and comfort here back in Feb/March.
Best wishes to you both.

[MabelMay]

ginger and greenone - so sorry for your losses. I too am suffering, having had it confirmed last Monday that I've lost my second pregnancy this year. I should be 9 weeks pregnant but baby stopped growing around 6 weeks, confirmed on scan. Have been miscarrying naturally which has been painful and very bloody but at least my body knows it's not pregnant any more.
But am really finding it hard to cope emotionally. Am so far away from my support system, family, friends, etc. DH working long hours. I have two kids already but that hasnt' made it any easier. I feel like people expect me to be over it already - but am feeling like I've barely started processing the grief.
Anyway, not to go on - but am just sending oodles of empathy and hand-holding your way and ginger I hope that you don't have to wait too long for it all to happen either naturally or to get your surgery. Take it easy on yourselves and give yourself permission to grieve, cry, etc - Wishing all of you who've suffered losses the very very best. MM x

[greeneone12]

Mabel I don't think it is ever easy. So sorry you have had to deal with this horrible experience twice :(

Snooping I have found this board a real comfort too. I am finding talking to my friends really hard.