Too much too soon?

[Tomkat79]

Sorry if this is a bit tmi but being as DS with nanny this eve I thought I'd take full advantage of DH when he got home from work. ive been feeling a bit brighter and it's been so long. Really felt the need for some closeness after events of the past few weeks.

Wasn't quite expecting to hit such a wall! I could barely relax enough to whip my clothes off, and when I did I felt such strong self loathing about my body that I clammed up. And then cried. And cried.

I am v fortunate to have such a lovely DH that just held me as the tears fell. There's no pressure from him but I feel as though I'm pressuring myself, although Im longing for the closeness I don't seem ready. I don't know. All just seems to be a horrible rollercoaster that I really want to get off.

[butterfly86]

Hi tomkat, sorry you feel like you do :( I know exactly what you are going through, after my first mc I was like you longing for that closeness that nothing else can give, we did manage to do it but I cried halfway through didnt let dp know though then bawled my eyes out afterwards. I also had bad cramping afterwards, it just proved to me that as much as I wanted to I wasn't ready physically or emotionally. Take it one step at a time it's such a rollercoaster but you sound like you have an amazing dh as do I, you will be ready soon enough don't be too hard on yourself x

[Forgetfulmog]

Oh tomkat, I remember feeling similar. After my mc we had decided not to ttc for a while so when we first tried to dtd, I just remember feeling so empty & sad that the last time we did this, we were really hopeful that I would get pg & now there was almost no point to it IYSWIM.

It's still very early days. Take your time. Cuddle DH, kiss him (not sexually) & just try to relax together. Talk to each other - even if you're just going over the same ground, it's good to talk so you know you're both understanding each other.

There will come a point when you both want sex & you'll both enjoy it. For now, just enjoy being a family with DS & DH.

Your DH sounds a lovely, caring man

[Tomkat79]

Thank you Butterfly and Mog. You can end up feeling like you're going crazy until you read/hear that other people have felt the same.

Yep DH is one in a million. He's always been brilliant but has been my rock lately. I do believe he's rustling up a plate of cheesy salsa nachos as I type :-)

[Forgetfulmog]

Mmm nachos

[squizita]

I know what you mean. Such a normal natural thing but so tied up in the memories.

I can't do it until after my 1st period. So bizarre. But true. Otherwise it just reminds me of everything.

Everyone is different and it sounds like you have such a sweet DH. Hugs.