How can I have seen the baby at 6w and now it's just vanished at 11w?

[babylann]

I made a thread before where I was considering my options re: ERPC, so apologies for making another thread about the same miscarriage but a bit of time has passed and I'm just so confused, and also sorry for the long post. I can't find any information on google which is relevant to me, and the nurses at the EPU sound very busy on the two times I've called so I don't want to call them again (plus I don't want to look like a nuisance...)

We had an early scan because of a huge difference between LMP and more likely conception date. I said I was approx 5 weeks (based on TTC and ov) but there was a possibility I was 14 weeks as I hadn't had AF for a long time due to very very irregular periods since DD was born. She booked a scan for a few days later, and my calculations were correct, I was almost 6 weeks. We saw the tiny baby and even the heartbeat. So there was an established embryo.

At 10w5, I had a small gush of brown blood and went to A&E to be safe. Whilst there, I started spotting red. A&E kept me there for a few hours with suspected infection (but with no symptoms they couldn't treat it) and sent me home with number for the EPU to call in the morning. Called them in the morning and booked a scan for the next day, which would be 11weeks exactly.

In the meantime I carried on spotting very lightly but no pains. Read a lot online to reassure myself that bleeding was normal so went to the scan feeling optimistic (though a bit anxious). She did a normal u/s for a few seconds before saying I had a tilted uterus and she'd need to do an internal scan. It confused me, as I'd already seen a baby on a normal scan when it was significantly smaller, but agreed of course.

Had the internal scan and she really poked that thing around inside me for a long time but wouldn't answer me when I asked whether there was a baby etc. She asked whether I have irregular periods and pain in my sides, I said yes. She never explained why she asked these questions. When she'd taken the scan out of me she said "I'm afraid it's bad news today. I can see your sac but there's no baby. Your sac is the right size for 11 weeks but there's no baby inside. I know it's a surprise after having such a good scan earlier." I thanked her and tried to get out as quickly as possible because I was so shocked and sad. DP and I were shown to the same waiting room as everyone else until a nurse could see us to discuss the options. We were struggling not to cry in front of the 10+ strangers in the room, and eventually started sobbing and left before we could see the nurse. I spoke to her later on the phone and I said I'd get back to her the next day, but was quite sure I wanted ERPC.

It's only since it happened that I've started to really wonder why this has happened, or whether it's happened at all. Apart from the very light bleeding, I have no signs of losing a baby. Any cramps I have had have been later identified as IBS...

I looked online to see why this happens (having an early scan which shows baby and a later one where the scan is empty) and I can't find anything. Everyone who I know whos had a miscarriage gets to the scan and is told exactly how far along they were when their baby stopped growing or the heartbeat stopped. My sonographer could only say "The baby must have died a few weeks ago" because there was no baby there to monitor, no heartbeat there to have stopped. The only times there's no baby present are when it's a blighted ovum, but having seen the healthy embryo with HB at the early scan, I know that isn't what happened to me? I hear your body can break the baby down as though it's dead tissue and dispose of it or absorb it, but if my body was clever enough to know the baby wasn't viable, why has it carried on growing my sac?

I know misdiagnosed miscarriages must be extremely rare, particularly at such a late stage in the first trimester, but I can't help thinking that's what's happened here, that maybe the baby was hidden behind a shadow or a clot of blood or something. I have read misdiagnosed mcs are more likely with tilted uterus, and now even though I desperately want this nightmare to end, I don't feel like I can agree to the ERPC. I've got another scan booked on Tuesday (DP rang up and said we couldn't have ERPC when there was a seed of doubt), but I don't know if I'll believe the results even if they're the same because it will likely be the same woman and the same machine.

I'm sorry for such a long post, I'm just so confused and anxious and devastated and despite not wanting to give myself false hope, I also don't want to prepare to terminate what could be a viable pregnancy.

Does anyone know whether miscarriages like this one (ie seeing a baby and then suddenly there is no baby at all) are normal? Every story or experience I read says their baby was there, it just wasn't alive anymore.

[StuntNun]

I'm no expert and I don't want to upset you but is it possible that you lost the baby when you were bleeding? In December I lost my baby at 12 weeks but she had died at 8 weeks; she was so tiny and didn't look anything like an embryo. My mother (who is a midwife and has seen miscarriages before) had to go and ask the doctor to confirm that it was in fact the baby.

Remember, you don't have to have any interventions at all. You can just wait and see what happens. I hope you have good support, it's an awful thing to go through this kind of worry.

[willitbe]

babylann - so sorry you are going through this. I would say that while you have doubts you should go with your instincts and let the pregnancy continue. I am sure you have read the misdiagnosed miscarriages website, and that this is giving you the hope (whether false hope or not) that the pregnancy might be ok after all.

One of the story's on the website echo's my experience of a misdiagnosis. Where the junior doctor measured my ovary size and told me it was a blighted ovum. Fortunately for me, the standard practice where I am is for blighted ovums only to be formally diagnosed by a senior doctor, so within minutes the senior doc came in and re-scanned me and found the pregnancy and sac in the correct location. Mistakes are made. Even sonographers can make mistakes (less likely than doctors but still can happen, as I found out with a different pregnancy).

I have had a pregnancy where the baby was reabsorbed rather than lost. It is hard to go through something like that.

There could be a number of different explainations for your situation, eg twins and looking at different sac's, or total error made, or mismeasured with tillted uterus.....

You should just follow your instincts and whilst not giving yourself false hope, don't go for a termination of the pregnancy unless you are 100% certain it is right for you.

I hope you get answers and peace regarding what is happening soon.

[babylann]

Thank you so much for your suggestions and advice. The confusion of it all has really affected me, perhaps worse than the grief so far, because I can't find a story like mine where the baby was absorbed but the sac carried on growing.

If you don't mind me asking, willitbe, is that what happened to you or did the sac stop growing?

Stuntnun, I don't think I passed the baby within my bleeding, at the very least before the scan I was very thorough with my checking and it was always liquid blood with only two small beauty spot sized clots.

Thank you again, very kind of you to read my very long post, I just want to make sense of it all.

[StuntNun]

Good luck to you Babylann, miscarriage is an awful thing that so many women go through but people don't really talk about. I hope that there has been a mistake and you are still pregnant but try not to cling to that too much until you are sure either way. It takes time but things will get better for you. I recently reached what would have been my due date which was upsetting but actually not as bad as I thought it would be. Luckily I had a busy day organised that day so I didn't have too long to dwell on negative thoughts. There will be another baby some day but I will always remember the one I lost, I even named her Emily even though it was too early to tell whether it was a boy or girl.