Exhausted after MC at 11+4 - is this normal!

[theplumfairy]

I had a MMC confirmed on Tuesday and the actual miscarriage took place on Thursday afternoon. The embryo hadn't grown and there was just an empty sac on the scan.

Emotionally I am now dealing with this ok but am totally wiped out physically. I found the MC painful and am still getting quite a bit of red blood two days later.

I really want to start feeling stronger and move on - was planning on going back to work on Monday. Is this extreme tiredness going to last a long time and is there anything I can do to combat it?

Also, is Monday is too soon to go back to work? I have only told one boss about the real situation so will need to continue with my fabricated illness if I don't go back.

[theplumfairy]

Bump

[lurcherlover]

Sorry you're going through this plumfairy. I'm in a similar situation - my mmc was also found on tues, at my dating scan. I should have been 14 weeks but the baby only measured 9 weeks with no heartbeat. I opted for ERPC which was done on Thursday. I too feel very tired and drained, both emotionally and physically. I have periods where I feel ok, and then moments where I just cry and cry. At a low point today I actually phoned the samaritans - I just wanted to have someon to talk to who didn't know me. The lady I spoke to was lovely and I did feel better afterwards - I would recommend it if you need to vent to someone.

In terms of work, the hospital have signed me off for a fortnight. I wasn't sure I would need the full time at first but I have been very weepy today so now I think I might. My situation is a bit different in that work knew I was preg (told people at 12 weeks as I thought I was safe, ha ha) so I have told my boss the truth. I think if you can tell a couple of people it does help. The dr will sign you off for as long as you need - I think mon would be too soon though. It is so shitty, isn't it

[ChuckleMonster]

So sorry to hear about your mc plumfairy

I had a mmc in March, I was physically drained for about 2 weeks but I think its fair to say everyone is different. You might wake up tomorrow feeling much better or it might be 4 or 5 weeks (sorry!) till you feel physically 'normal'. I dont know what you can do to feel better other than get plenty of rest (and I ate lots of red meat as I was anaemic due to the pg)

With going back to work, again everyone is different. If you feel ready go back on Monday. I also had a mc in Jan, which was natural at 6 weeks, and went into work the next day. I just wanted to get back to normal as quickly as possible (I did break down in floods of tears on a colleague though ). I had a bit longer off with the mmc but due to circumstance more than anything.

Just make sure you take care of yourself and that you allow yourself time to recover mentally and physically

[theplumfairy]

I'm sorry lurcherlover, you were 5 weeks ahead of me and must have felt safe at that point. I know I would have. I'm glad you've called the samaritans, I think we have to do what it takes to get through this.

Emotionally I'm a bit fragile but coping ok at the moment. I was really hoping I could get back to normal as soon as I could- I think it will help me. I'm just feeling frustrated because my body is not playing ball... Just feel so so tired. I slept 2hrs this afternoon and still feel knackered.

Think I underestimated how much the MC would effect me physically.

Thanks chuckle for your good wishes and sorry to hear you've been through this twice. I have a feeling I will be wiped out for a while like you were the second time. Maybe I should stay off work for a bit longer. I do feel bad because I only work 3 days a week.

[tumblebug]

So sorry about your mc, it's horrible and no-one ever warns you what it's going to be like.

I had a mc last summer at exactly the same stage as you. I was told to take 2 weeks off work, I thought initially it sounded too long but was really surprised how completely exhausted I was physically. I felt very weak for much longer than I expected, probably due to blood loss and crashing hormones. I spent several days in bed (very unlike me). In the end I went back 11 days after passing the sac - I definitely felt ready by then, and may have managed a couple of days earlier. Emotionally, I could probably have gone back earlier (keep my mind off it).

I told my closest colleagues at work (older men) who were really understanding and supportive, and a couple of other close colleagues. I can't remember what I told everyone else - I wasn't well but better now or something. They just assumed I'd picked up a tummy bug on holiday! 9 months on, I have actually told quite a lot of people (but I didn't want to talk about it at the time).

Try not to feel you have to go back before you really are ready - look after yourself, take the opportunity to read some books or watch some films. You will feel better, it might just take a couple of weeks.

[tightwad]

Hi plumfairy, ive had blighted ovum miscarriages which is what you describe (empty sac), ive had lots of them.

I always always feel completely wiped out for up to 3 -4 weeks after the actual event is over.

Personally, to get back on my feet i take multi vits with iron, as the blood loss can be excessive.

Most importantly, listen to your body, if you are exhausteed, you need to sleep & rest in order for your body to recover...so do it.

Take time off work, i have taken between one week and 8 weeks off work, depending on how horrendous i feel. I go back to work next week after having 8 weeks off this time...it was horrific.
Sympathies and hugs.
Feel free to ask any further questions..im kind of an expert at this sadly

[theplumfairy]

I'm so sorry you have all been through this, it is horrible and especially when you have to go through it multiple times. It must be so hard to stay positive.

Tightwad, I had a dating scan at 6 weeks which showed a heartbeat. Would you get that with a blighted ovum?

[tightwad]

No, blighted ovum is a completely empty sac. (sometimes a fetal pole or yolk sac, but no hb) Sorry, i mustnt have read your post properly, sorry.
Ive had 2 mcs with a hb as well as all of the blighted ovums. Either way, exhaustion is the same regardless.

Its not abnormal my lovely, its a normal response to a very traumatic event to both your body & mind.

[theplumfairy]

I really think the NHS should give you more support than 'it will be like a heavy period, come back if you get an infection'.

Yes there's lots of period type bleeding now but the actual MC was painful and traumatic. Such a lot of 'stuff' came out it shocked me. I felt like I was having contractions in the build up to it. I guess its obvious but I wish I'd been prepared.

Also, they didn't tell me that I would feel this exhausted.

A leaflet or some kind of guidance on what you can practically expect would be useful!

[tightwad]

Agree theplumfailry, there is little information out there.

It was suggested to me that i try brufen & paracetamol. I always need gas & air, morphine, tramadol and cocodamol.
This is because as you say, i labour for about 12 hours until i actually pass a very large amount of "gunk". It is labour pains.

There is little understanding, support, inforamtion and research into the causes of miscarriage. Its a badly neglected area sadly.

[theplumfairy]

Tightwad, I don't think I mentioned the first scan with heartbeat. The sac looked empty on the second scan, perhaps the embryo stopped growing very soon after the dating scan :(

I really hope you (and all the posters) have a successful pregnancy soon, how heartbreaking for you.

[birdofthenorth]

Sorry for what you've been through, Plum. I had a second mc this week at 8+6 which was much less physically traumatic than my first one in November when I was 11+3 so pretty similar to you. That time the amount of tissue & blood clots I lost was really quite alarming & left me poorly, knackered and traumatised ( as much by the goriness as by the loss) for quite a while. I would allow your body to rest and take a few more days off work - recovering properly is more important than what your colleagues think. Have you been tested for anaemia? That causes tiredness and has affected me after both mcs (I'm currently on megadose iron tablets to sort me out).

Sorry again for your loss. It is awful

[birdofthenorth]

PS this time I also saw the heartbeat on my first scan, a few says before I then lost the baby, which make it even harder I think