Depressing question- Please help

[WantsToBeAMan]

Miscarriages and stillbirths run in my family:(
I have tokophobia, and I often think about what I would do if I had a late stillbirth or miscarriage. I know it is depressing, but given my family history I feel should be prepared.
I have heard that women who have a late miscarriage or a stillbirth are not given a choice regarding mode of delivery?
Given my mental health issues will I be allowed to have a cesarian in case of a stillbirth post 20-24 weeks?
For me going through L&D for a live baby will be traumatic enough,but for a stillborn baby it is unthinkable.

In private healthcare (not NHS) would they agree to do a c section instead of an induction in the event of a stillbirth? Keep in mind that I do not plan on having a large family. Just one or maximum two children.

Is it strange to discuss this eventuality with a consultant in advance? Or is it inauspicious and bad luck?

[frankie3]

I don't think there is anything wrong in you thinking about this given your circumstances. If you don't want to discuss it with your consultant then phone your private healthcare provider and ask them, I am sure they will be able to help you.

Hope everything goes well for you.

[EllenandBump]

You neeed to dicuss everything with a midwife or consultant that is worrying you. Often they can put your mind to rest where as if you hadnt discussed it with them you would have continued worrying and possibly cause a problem.

I hope that this doesnt become a reality, but to be honest i have no idea, whether or not they would consider a caeserian. Sorry. x

[JjandtheBean]

There's new legislation coming in or already in stating all women can request a c-section.
In your person circumstances I can't see why they'd refuse, they wouldn't at our local hospital, my baby brother died at 39wks last year and was delivered by section.

I do hope you never have to deal with this, lots of love and luck xxxx

[JackiePaper]

Jjbean - that was hype by the media, not all women are going to be allowed a c-section at all. Ladies who unfortunatley have to deliver stillborn babies are encouraged to have a normal delivery as c-sections are much more risky for the mother.
I hope you never have to be in this situation wantstobeaman but if you have tokophobia i imagine you could request and may well get a c-section. You would have to show that you understand all the risks associated with a caesarean tho x

[JackiePaper]

meant to add jjbean i am sorry for your loss xx

[oflip]

Ime on having a positive pregnancy test, i have gone to see my GP in order to have him prescribe very strong painkillers for me to take when i begin to mc.
My GP is very understanding and happy to talk to me about this.

Its depressing but i have had 6 miscarriages, and just expect mc now iyswim. If it happens at a weekend,i cannot wait for pain relief becuase my mcs are agony, normal pain killers dont help me at all.
I always have them in the cupbourd.

I tend to think that the health service are reluctant to perform an operation, cause a wound, for a still birth.
But if legislation is changing, then good. it means that they are seriously reviewing how women are dealt with during this awful time.
I dont think you are asking anything odd, its very important to you, so should be discussed.

[DanceLikeTheWind]

Actually, the NICE guidelines state that if a woman is uncomfortable with a VB, she can ask for counselling. If that doesn't work, she HAS to be referred to someone who will perform a c section.

However, mc and stillbirth happens so suddenly that I am unsure how they would react to a CS request at that time.

I am terribly sorry for all your losses:(:( l

Jjandthebean,
Could you elaborate on your brothers delivery? As in, was the c section requested by the mum? Did they agree to one easily?