Sex in early pregnancy confusion

[notnowImreading]

I'm miscarrying for the second time at the moment - have done the emotional processing for now so don't need lots of sympathy. I was very interested in what the doctor at the EPAC told me, though: normal NHS advice is that sex during pregnancy is fine so fill your boots, but I've miscarried the day after sex twice now and the doctor said absolutely lay off penetrative sex for the first trimester next time as it can destabilise the cervix. If there's a risk for some people, why do the NHS not say this on their advice? Has anyone else been given any advice about this?

[farfallarocks]

I have read that if you suffer from recurrent miscarriage it can be a good idea not to have penetrative sex in the first trimester.

It could just be a co-incendence though.

For what its worth, we held off twice and I still miscarried.

Sorry for your loss.

[kat2504]

They don't say it because it is bollocks. Sex does not cause a miscarriage. Obviously people who have had a miscarriage are looking for a reason. If you don't have sex in the first trimester, that is one less thing that you can blame yourself for. I think the historical advice to avoid sex in the first trimester if you have a history of miscarriage is outdated. I certainly haven't been told this myself. Although I have heard of people on here who have been told this advice. By all means follow it next time if it gives you one less thing to worry about. But don't blame yourself this time. Almost all miscarriages are NOT caused by anything the woman has done.

Hope you are doing ok and it is not too long and drawn out for you.

[LIG1979]

Hello....

I am sorry Notnow - I know you don't need sympathy but it still a horrible thing to go through.

I have been wondering about this as the first spotting I got when I had a MMC, was after sex. (About a week after the embryo died.) Then last month when I had a chemical pregnancy, the bleeding started during sex. (I knew it was a chemical, so it wasn't a surprise.) So started thinking that the bleeding may be a trigger rather than actually cause the mc. Similarly, whilst trying to properly mc naturally (eventually needed an ERPC) - I found running caused me to bleed - I don't think it caused the mc but maybe helped things along a bit.

This isn't a scientific theory but I think that sex after the baby has already died may trigger a mc but would not cause it in most cases. I guess what I am saying is that the embryo had already died (a mmc) but the sex caused the mc to happen naturally.

I am sort of torn next time I get pregnant to be very good and not drink/exercise/have sex etc. etc. to prevent another mc to the other extreme of doing all in moderation thinking that if the embryo is that fragile then it is just prolonging the inevitable. Having said that during my pregnancy I was so knackered, that I was only having sex to keep the DH happy so maybe next time I won't bother!!!

[kat2504]

As lig says, once you are bleeding it is almost certain that the baby has already stopped developing at that point. It takes a hell of a lot more than sex to shift a healthy pregnancy.