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Just had a miscarriage at 9wks+3 . D&C or medication?

(6 Posts)
Firstbabyjoy Sat 06-Aug-11 15:13:11

I've just found out the heart breaking news that I've miscarried at 9 wks+3. I had started bleeding a week ago, only very lightly though, but had read enough on here and other sites that any bleeding should be checked out at the Drs.

I am so glad I went to the drs last week, eventhough everyone was trying to be positive by saying it was perfectly "normal" to bleed (eventhough I know quite a few women that hadn't bled at all during pregnancy). I'm glad I ignored their advice and went to the Drs anyway. I was sent for an early scan which showed that its heartbeat was very slow. We received no reassurance from the sonographer and neither she nor the Dr at the hospital told us to expect the worst. Whilst I was prepared for the worst by boyfriend certainly wasn't. However, we went home feeling like we were in limbo, not knowing if everything was going to be ok. But I knew deep down that something was wrong.

We went for our last scan yesterday to find that the heartbeat had stopped. Whilst everyone was lovely and very understanding, we had to wait at the hospital for a further 3.5hrs, waiting to see nurses/drs, at one point we were left in a waiting room next to the new born baby ward, it was torture.

I decided to take the medication but now I'm worried that along with the emotional anguish of losing my baby, that I am now going to find the remains of my baby on my sanitary towel or in the loo. So I'm now thinking of asking for a D&C when we go back to the hospital tomorrow.

Can anyone let me know their experiences of this? Would you recommend it? Did you have any problems trying to get pregnant after having the op? How long were you out of action after the op? Were you in much pain afterwards?

I'm already having the week off, but I'm guessing it will take me much longer to get over this mentally.

SimplyTes Sat 06-Aug-11 16:03:23

So sorry this has happened to you. Sadly I have had two mc, at about nine weeks. First happened all at once and I was so scared, my DH came home from work and took me to hospital where I was monitored.

The second time I had gone for my 12 week scan and there was no heartbeat. I knew what to expect and went home for nature to take its course - again v heavy bleeding, cramps but bearable. My best friend recently had a mc and I suggested she went to hospital rather than endure what I went through, she did and was glad she didn't have to wait - not knowing when she was going to start bleeding. Physically I was fine and have had no problems at all getting pregnant again. Mentally I am good now but it did take a long time and it didn't help that some people in RL weren't sympathetic, in fact quite mean.

You will be OK but it will take time. S x

kat2504 Sun 07-Aug-11 08:39:31

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss, especially as this has seemed to be quite a drawn out affair for you.

I have had both the operation and the medical management. I would recommend the ERPC operation. I found the medication rather traumatic and very painful, although not everyone finds it the same. It was over in a few hours but. during that time I had to pretty much stay sitting on a commode as I passed the "products" into a bedpan. If you go for this option talk about your pain relief in advance. They tried to fob me off with co-codamol which was useless and eventually let me have gas and air. I definitely wouldn't want to do this method at home, I was admitted to the ward for the morning. I was in some pain afterwards but mostly like a really bad period the bleeding lasted about 9 days. The advantages of this method are avoiding the general anaesthetic and avoiding surgery. I got my period almost six weeks later.

The ERPC was quite scary as I had never had an operation before so I was incredibly nervous and obviously upset. It was over very quickly and I was back home just after lunchtime. I was in some pain for the first few days, but again, it was mostly like period cramps but a bit worse. The bleeding was lighter with this option and was over after 5 days. I had a period just over 4 weeks later.

Whichever option you go for it's quite shit to be honest. I found the surgical option less traumatic. Whatever you decide I would bank on two weeks out of action, at least one week for physical recovery and another week for emotional reasons. The mental recovery can take quite some time and sadly other do not always appreciate how you are feeling. Sometimes the grief hits you a few weeks/months down the line when everyone else has forgotten about it and expects you to have done so also.

Anyway, really it is up to you about the method. Neither method affects your chances of getting pregnant again. Go with whichever option you are most comfortable with. If you have to miscarry medically at home, make sure your partner is with you when it is happening, both for support and in case you need medical attention.

Wishing you a speedy recovery, hope you will be feeling better soon.

ledkr Sun 07-Aug-11 08:59:25

Bless you,im so sorry.
All i can add to the brilliant things you have already been told,is that when i had mine.I was 12 wks and the baby had died at 9. I was in a lot of pain so decided to opt for the d and c.I found it best for me as like you i was scraed of what i would see.It was quick and easy and meant i could begin the process of grieving/moving on as soon as possible. I took some time off work and just looked after myself.
I found people very sympathetic for about a week then everyone seems to forget.My heart was broken for months tho.
If it heps you to not blame yourself or worry it was my 4th baby-no probs before-and i have since had 2 more. Good luck what ever you choose.

Firstbabyjoy Sun 07-Aug-11 22:14:55

Thank you all, for your kind words which have been very reassuring. It really has been a difficult time, it's been more emotional than I could have possibly imagined. After chatting to the nurse at the hospital I ended up sticking to the medical management in the end.

Have just finished my third dose which has been an odd experience: the first 20 mins I nearly vomited, passed out and had excrutiating pains followed by having to crawl to the loo where what can only be described as a 'potato' sized mess appeared (sorry, too descriptive) that was six hours ago. I've had nothing since apart from blood...thinking I may have to do some star jumps to get it moving along!! Don't know if that's normal or not!

hmm, maybe the D&C was the better option after all (controlled and quick!)

kat2504 Mon 08-Aug-11 08:30:24

It sounds like you have passed the sac and the worst is therefore over. Don't worry about the star jumps, put your feet up on the sofa and look after yourself. There's no "better option" it's just what you feel more comfortable with at the time. You'll probably bleed for a week or two, and pass a few more smaller clots now and then.
Thinking of you - take it easy and take care of yourself.

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