Miscarriage & going back to work

[LondonSuperTrooper]

Hi all,

I've had a miscarraige at 7 weeks+2 days on saturday. I've taken today off work as my head is all over the place but hoping to go to work tomorrow especially as there is a risk of redundancies etc.

My question is, do you think that the one week sick leave recommended by the midwife is a must? How long did you have off work? If you went back to work straight away, did you cope well?

Thanks.

[NeedToStopBeingACow]

I am sorry for your loss. I have had 6 mc and each was very different but I ranged from 2-5 days off work with them, 5 for the missed mc as that took longer to get my head around and I had to have a D&C.

Everyone is different, in their experience and how they cope with it, so you need to do whatever you feel is right for you.
x

[dooscooby]

Hi London
Sorry for your loss. My m/c always seem to fall over bank holidays! First one I had the one day bank hol day and went back, because DH and i thought i'd be better at work having something to do to be honest. It was hard and I did cry quite a bit, but I have my own office so managed to be able to hide away. Second time was over christmas, so I already had a week booked off and then went back to work as normal after my 'holiday'.

I think it depends on what you do, how stressful your job is, whether you're surrounded by supportive people, lots of pregnant women, are miles from home etc. I also never wanted to tell anyone at work as I'm not close enough to any of them and work for a tiny organisation so didn't want them trying to get rid of me. Is it poss to work flexibly for a while, so you can try returning but have the escape of working from home etc. if you find it hard?

[PieMistress]

London, sorry to hear about your recent loss. I also had a m/c very recently. I really didn't work to know so apart from 'time off' for an 'appointment' I didn't take any time off. The brunt of my m/c happened last Monday night though when I was at home.

I often found myself welling up at work but it did help me take my mind off things, plus as my line manager was away it would have been difficult for me to take time off without saying why (why I really didn't want to do).

How sympathetic is your HR / Line Manager? If my line manager had been there I probably would have told (only) him and had some time off.

You need to do what's best for you and how you feel.

x

[MrsDoylesTeaCosy]

Hi London, so sorry for you loss

I had a natural miscarriage last monday and with the support of my work and the GP I am taking two weeks off to help me come to terms with my loss. My job entails working with people with mental health problems, and although I'm beginning to feel a bit more like myself, my emotions can take me by surprise, and don't want to distress the people I work with anymore than they are already.

Like the others have said, everyone copes differently, you need to do what is best for you. You could always try going to work and if its too difficult take a few more days off? It is important you don't pressure yourself as you've been through a very recent loss. Have you told work why you are off?

I wish you the best, be kind and take care of yourself

[Mitzimaybe]

What everyone else says - take as much time as you need. I came to work all the way through my mc (it took over a week but the worst was over a weekend) and for a week afterwards, then suddenly felt I couldn't cope any more, couldn't stop crying in the office etc., and ended up taking three weeks off. I don't normally take much sick leave, so it's unusual for me, but I felt much better for it.

[LondonSuperTrooper]

Thanks for your replies everyone.

I ended up taking all of last week off. I've been signed off for this week but have decided to come in. I'm coping much better at work than when I was at home. Being home alone at home was a complete torture as I kept going over things that I may have done to cause the miscarriage & just generally crying my eyes out.

Thanks again, you were so kind in your responses.

[higgle]

I had two quite early miscarriages, fortunately got D&C done immediately at a private hospital. I took 3 days off work both times as I felt better at work than at home. Where I work now there have been several miscarriages with people off from between 2 days and 2 weeks.

[worldgonecrazy]

Sorry about your m/c. I went back to work after a fortnight for both my miscarriages. I also have a lot of support in the office as all the women in my department have had miscarriages so we are there for each other.

[lionmummy]

Sorry to hear your news, I had a mmc at 18 weeks & I took 4 days off. Most people knew I was pregnant by that stage so having to talk to people when I was back was hard, although I had emailed people in advance to ask them to treat me as normal. People were very kind but that was worse!
My only advice would be take the time you need.

[RUBYAPPLE]

Sorry to hear about your loss. I too work at a place where they are getting rid of people left, right and centre.

I miscarried two weeks ago whilst at work. I was having light spotting when I got up but just took the chance (as in the past it has varied, light spotting and then m/c the following day) but soon as I reached work the pain hit me.

I have had 5 m/c and I have found that the pain differs each time. In the past I have taken a week off yet this time round it was only one day and then I was back to work but I know of some women who have taken off 2-3 weeks.

Everyone experiences different pain - as lion mummy suggested, take all the time you need.