Difficulty getting pregnant after MC

[Bellsonka]

Hello
I have miscarried in January 2010 at 20 weeks and have still not fully recovered mentally. We've started trying for another baby soon after with no success.
Any advice, please?
I don't know what was the cause for the MC, lots of different tests were done at the time with no definite answer. &

[lucylookout]

Hi Bellsonka,
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I too lost a baby at 20 weeks in February 2010 (well, the scan showed a lethal condition so we made the difficult decision to terminate). I got pregnant shortly after but mc at 8 weeks in June. Since then we have been trying but also with no luck . How are your cycles? Mine took a good while to get kind of normal, although some changes seem to be permanent. I helped my cycle along by going to see an acupuncturist and a nutritionist. I can tell you what supplements I'm taking if that would be useful, but I'm probably not the best person to advise you as unfortunately I'm in the same boat! I'm going to my GP next week to start having tests done to check everything is working OK still. I think if you're under 35 they tell you to wait for a year of trying, but over 35 (which I am) they tell you to only wait 6 months before going to have investigations.
Have you talked to anyone about how you're dealing with it mentally? I went to a counsellor at my hospital but to be honest she was a bit useless.
I don't know about you but I'm looking forward to 2011 - it sounds like we both could do with a fresh start x

[crochetcircle]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also suffered a mc in 2010, so I wanted to reply to you. But I'm also aware how raw I was after my loss during ttc, so I don't want to say the wrong thing. But here goes...

First, remember that couples with no fertility issues often take a year or more to conceive. This is really hard to keep in mind, but I do think it helps keep things in perspective. One of my close friends took 2 years to conceive her first. Her second came on the first cycle of trying.

I found using opks helped, as I found out i was ovulating much earlier than I thought. So much of our efforts in the bedroom had been 'wasted'!

I'm loathe to suggest having more sex, as I know how trite that sounds, although I do think that's what swung it for us on the end.

Good luck on your journey in 2011. I hope it brings you BFPs!

[Kentmummy]

I'm so sorry about your MC. But the positive side to this is that you can get PG.
Alot of what I say may annoy you... I know I felt this way everytime these things were said to me, but they are true.
I had a MMC in march 2009. We conceived within 2 cycles of TTC, so I thought second time round would be easy. It wasn't and took us 11 long months. I tried everything, acupuncture, clearblue fertility monitor, herbal supplements. Nothing worked.
I went to the GP and insisted they check me out. He told me that a normal, fertile couple can take months to conceive as even if you have sex at the right time, getting PG is like throwing a 6 on a dice, a total lottery. He told me to be patient.
I ended up having a laparoscopy and was told I would bleed afterwards. I was also due on immediately afterwards, so when I bled I assumed because of the lap and said to DH we may as well not TTC as I've no idea when AF arrived, if at all... So we relaxed for the first time and had sex when we felt like it... No pressure on DH who in the months of TTC suffered with performance issues from the pressure... Not happened before or after that.... Just too much pressure.
Low and behold I fell PG 2 weeks later and now have my 9 week old DD asleep on my lap.
It's so hard but for us, to relax and enjoy sex worked. I spent too long using monitors and creating such s fraught environment that DH couldn't always perfom.
All the gadgets in the world didn't work for us. The doc was right, it will happen.. Be patient. It's hard but you know PG is possible for you, it can just sometimes take some time.
When you do get PG, you then worry about MC the whole time, then you worry about childbirth, then you worry if you will be a good parent.... You get the picture!
Lots of luck... A midwife told me once to dump the ovulation kits, get a bottle of wine, relax and shag alot!

[PinkRabbitFood]

Hi bellsonka so sorry for your loss :( I can completely understand your frustration, as I MC my first pregnancy in June 2010 and have been TTC with no success since.

I also went to my GP, who echoed what kentmummy said, that although I'd conceived quickly first time around, it's probably just statistics playing out this time, and he also said the thing about it taking a year even if no fertility issues.

I've dumped the thermometer, but am keeping on using the CBFM as I find it helpful to know when I've ovulated so that if I only ovulate on, say day 22, I don't start excitedly peeing on sticks from day 28 onwards!!

Do you have irregular cycles? Mine went a bit haywire after the MC but I've been having acupuncture and touch wood, they seem to have finally settled down. I also find that acupuncture gives me an hour a week of 'time out' to relax and try and get a grip again!! I reckon a yoga class or meditation or even just some time to yourself is helpful though, just to get some head space.

All the best xx

[Glitterybits]

Hi there. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I thought I'd post from my own experience. Not wishing to be the angel of death or frighten you, but I had a mc in Oct 2009, which rendered me infertile. By March 2010, I just KNEW something was wrong. Much like everyone else said, I was fobbed off by my doctor and told to try naturally for at least another 6 months. By this point, we'd been ttc for 14 months and, although we had managed it, my cycles were a bit bizarre to say the very least after my mc. I was gutted to be sent away as my GP had confirmed I probably wasn't ovulating and still wouldn't help me. If I'd lasted the next 6 months I would have only just started down the road to treatment. Thankfully, I followed my instincts and went back to the GP in June. I started fertility tests in July and am now 10 weeks pg after one round of clomid in October. My consultant said that people regularly suffer slight hormonal imbalances after mc and it doesn't take much to upset the status quo.

I am not for a second saying you are in the same boat, but I think women's intuition is a strong thing, particularly when you've conceived relatively easily in the past. It wouldn't hurt to see your doctor and ask them to run some basic hormone tests at different stages of your cycle. I charted and used OPKs and am sure I was ovulating, but The second half of my cycle was too short, meaning a little bean had no chance of implanting.

Sorry to waffle on. I hope it all works out well for you very soon.

[lucylookout]

Glitterybits how long did it take before going to your doctor and being prescribed Clomid? Do they just do tests over the course of one cycle? Were you able to get the tests done at your GP's or were you referred to a hospital? Sorry, lots of questions, but I have an appt with my Dr on Monday and have the same concerns about hormonal changes post mc that you did. Thanks and congratulations on your pregnancy!

[Glitterybits]

Hi Lucy feel free to ask away. Miscarriage is hard enough without being messed up as a result. I'm not sure how long you've been ttc but would advise that you tell your GP it's been a year or more. They are more likely to refer you at that point. It's not considered to be a medical concern for doctors until you've been trying for ages and even then some of them require a bit of persuasion.

The first test you're likely to have done is a day 21 progesterone test. It's a simple blood test, can be done by your GP and is called the day 21 test as it's meant to be done 7 days after ovulation. If course, not all women ovulate on day 14, so it's important that this test is done 7 days after you think you ovulate. Assuming anything is flagged up, you may well be referred to a fertility clinic at that point. They will want to run further blood tests to check hormone levels at different stages of your cycle and will probably want to test your partner's sperm.

Before I was given clomid, both me and DH were interviewed to check we'd be suitable parents (doesn't seem to matter if you're already a parent!) and I had to have internal scans and a HSG to check I had no anatomical problems or scarring/ cysts etc around my womb or tubes.

If they do give you clomid, it differs around the country as to the level of monitoring. Where I was, they scanned you every other day to make sure you were responding properly to the drug in the first month and gave you 3 months' supply of it to start you off. After the first month, they check your dosage and up it if necessary. I think the most I could have was 9 months' supply, before trying alternative treatment. Thankfully, it worked first time for me. The consultant told me the mc had upset the equilibrium just slightly and I just needed rebooting like a computer.

At the time of treatment, it felt like forever, constantly waiting for the next test. But when I look back it wasn't at all long in the great scheme of things. I got referred inn June, had lots of tests between July and October and then fell pg on my first cycle of clomid in October. Feels like forever when you can't conceive though.

Hopefully, things will settle down for you without intervention, but the mc messed me up for a year and, given that we conceived DS in the first month of trying, I knew something wasn't quite right.

Sorry for rambling on. Hope some of this is useful to anyone with similar issues. It's always worth pushing for answers from your GP if you have even the slightest concern, because at least then you can stop waiting and worrying why it's not happening.

[Glitterybits]

Hi Lucy feel free to ask away. Miscarriage is hard enough without being messed up as a result. I'm not sure how long you've been ttc but would advise that you tell your GP it's been a year or more. They are more likely to refer you at that point. It's not considered to be a medical concern for doctors until you've been trying for ages and even then some of them require a bit of persuasion.

The first test you're likely to have done is a day 21 progesterone test. It's a simple blood test, can be done by your GP and is called the day 21 test as it's meant to be done 7 days after ovulation. Of course, not all women ovulate on day 14, so it's important that this test is done 7 days after you think you ovulate for accuracy. Assuming anything is flagged up, you may well be referred to a fertility clinic at that point. They will want to run further blood tests to check hormone levels at different stages of your cycle and will probably want to test your partner's sperm.

Before I was given clomid, both me and DH were interviewed to check we'd be suitable parents (doesn't seem to matter if you're already a parent!) and I had to have internal scans and a HSG to check I had no anatomical problems or scarring/ cysts etc around my womb or tubes.

If they do give you clomid, it differs around the country as to the level of monitoring. Where I was, they scanned you every other day to make sure you were responding properly to the drug in the first month and gave you 3 months' supply of it to start you off. After the first month, they check your dosage and up it if necessary. I think the most I could have was 9 months' supply, before trying alternative treatment. Thankfully, it worked first time for me. The consultant told me the mc had upset the equilibrium just slightly and I just needed rebooting like a computer!

At the time of treatment, it felt like forever, constantly waiting for the next test. But when I look back it wasn't at all long in the great scheme of things. I got referred in June, had lots of tests between July and October and then fell pg on my first cycle of clomid in October. Feels like forever when you can't conceive though.

Hopefully, things will settle down for you without intervention, but the mc messed me up for a year and, given that we conceived DS in the first month of trying, I knew something wasn't quite right.

Sorry for rambling on. Hope some of this is useful to anyone with similar issues. It's always worth pushing for answers from your GP if you have even the slightest concern, because at least then you can stop waiting and worrying why it's not happening.

[Glitterybits]

Have no idea why that posted twice. Sorry!

[lucylookout]

Thanks so much for your detailed reply. Like you I conceived very quickly before (three times in the first month of trying) and now for 6 months we have had nothing, and not through want of trying! With your reply I know at least what I should be asking for on Monday at the doctors. Thanks again and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

[Bellsonka]

Thanks a lot for all your kind words girls!
I haven't been stressing out about getting pregnant till now. We've been having unprotected sex since MC in Jan'10 which makes a year now but no luck. With both my previous pregnancies (first succesful - 4 year old son) it took us about 8/9 months to concive but both times I started going to GP and asking about tests as I was getting nervous. Both times we've first tested my husbands sperm and bang - I'm pregnant.
This time though is different I guess as I've MC'd my second pregnancy. My period returned to normal only recently as I was always on 28 days cycle and since MC it's been 26/27/28 days. I know this is not major change but I do wonder. I haven't done anything like checking when I'm ovulating or taking any herbal remedies apart from normal vitamins supplements. And one more thing, I was diagnosed with low iron levels and have been on iron supplement since October.
We're planning to move out of country hopefully by the end of this year and I would really like to give birth before that!
I'm on waiting list to see psychologist and do hope that will help me deal with my loss...
I've googled some herbal remedies but I'm not sure what to think about those things... I've always believed in conventional medicine but I'm willing to try unconventional now.
Again, any advise much appreciated and thanks for all your support.

[Cally35]

Hi Bellsonka, I'm sorry what you're going through. To m/c at 20 weeks sounds utterly devastating. I think you are definitely taking the right steps with seeing a psychologist but I also think it's time to see a GP for some basic tests to check that your m/c hasn't upset your system like it did with Glitterybits. It may need some nudging.

[Cally35]

And Glitterybits how short was your second half of your cycle out of interest? And was it because of this that they prescribed you with clomid or did they tell you you weren?t ovulating? I just ask as I m/c our #1 in July last year and by charting and using OPKs i think my LP is slightly on the short side. My periods aren?t like clockwork like they use to be and perhaps I am just self diagnosing too much but I am just wondering when to approach a GP.

[Bellsonka]

Hello again. I've just realised that I've been so caught up with my own stuff that I haven't said the most important thing! I am so sorry about your losses!!! and that I do know what you're going through... but I guess we all know it.

I've been thinking about doing a memorial album to keep all the things I have left (couple photos, scan pictures, hospital bracelet etc) in one place but I don't seem to be able to find anything suitable. If you did something like that or something different please let me know your ideas, would be much appreciated.

Thank you so much!

[Glitterybits]

Bellsonka, I'd agree with Cally that there's no harm in asking your GP to run some basic hormone tests. I know, medically speaking, a year isn't forever in terms of conception, but it's a long time for you to be waiting and it does take over a lot of your life once you start wondering about it.

My only experience of herbal remedies has been very bad indeed, but I was desperate to do something as the doctor told me to just wait. I tried Agnus Castus (Vitex) which is dubbed as nature's Clomid. All it did was lengthen my cycles - leading me to think I might be pregnant - but AF always got me and was so much heavier and more painful whilst I was taking it. My cycles jumped from 30+ days to 40+ followed by a hideous period at the end of it. Also, it's dreadfully expensive stuff. Some people do have a positive experience with herbal tonics, but they can mask hormone problems. For example, they may give your body a synthetic version of the hormone it lacks, thus making it think it is making enough and stop doing it naturally. I would strongly advise against taking anything without seeing your doctor for a more conventional approach first. You might be setting yourself further back, because it might not suit you.

Out of interest, have your periods altered at all other than in terms of their arrival time since your mc? Do you spot before each cycle kicks in properly?

I never made a memorial album as I lost the pregnancy quite early on, but it sounds like a nice idea. Maybe you could just buy a really nice box, or get one made somewhere?

Cally To be honest, my cycles were all over the shop! Some months they looked to be improving and during others they had a mind of their own. The annoying thing was that they were often at least 34 days long - so I had fewer chances to conceive each year even if I had been working properly. Annoyingly, I could sometimes ovulate on day 22 and then get a period on day 30, so I still had a longer cycle than a lot of people, but an LP of only 8 days. Having said that, I probably wasn't ovulating properly. I always got the temp spike at exactly the same time of the month, but I either didn't have sufficient progesterone to sustain it, or it all went wrong in the very short second half of my cycle. In order for a bean to stick, the LP should be about 12-14 days and this is supposed to remain consistent from month to month. Occasionally, 10 days is sufficient, but you don't stand a hope in hell of implantation if it is any less than that.

How long have you been TTC? I only ask this because some GPs are reluctant to do anything until you've been trying for at least a year or more. It might be worth asking the question and say you've been trying for a long time, even if you haven't. I think, if you're over 35, they tend to be a bit more forthcoming in terms of getting testing underway, but mine was quite keen on leaving it to nature for a further 6 months. Thankfully, I cracked and went back for a second opinion, or I'd still be waiting for treatment now.

I never got a definitive diagnosis. There was only ever one test result (day 21 progesterone) done by my GP that came back as anovulatory and that was back in March 2010. Chances are, it was done at the wrong time anyway! Everything else was normal, so I think they just gave me clomid as a last ditch attempt to try and iron out any potential hormonal fluctuations. Whatever the case, it worked. 12 weeks pg today and very nervously awaiting my scan next week!

The very best of luck to anyone TTC after miscarriage. It is a very difficult and emotional time and I hope you get your BFPs soon. x

[Cally35]

Thanks Glitterybits for coming back to me. I am glad you perserved and got successful results in the end. I'm really crossing fingers for you, It will be fine.
Well I seemed to fall pregnant quickly last year but obviously m/cing one's first is terrible for confidence and makes you wonder about every possiblity.

So we started in April ttc (9mths ago) but it is now 6/7months since the m/c. I am guessing they tell you to wait a year since the last pregnancy as opposed to the time you originally started ttc (i'm 31) I can't lie as my GP will have the dates of m/c etc. But I never even get close to thinking i'm pregnant as it just seems my period comes really early. This month 4 days early on day 25. I think that is better than what you had though as I can start again quicker.

My LP is 10 days and i take 100mg a day of B6 which hasn't extended it. I'm not sure what it was before pregnancy as i started charting the first month of pregnancy. It just feels like everything breaks down too early and if the LP was just 2 days longer, I feel it would give a bean more chance of implantation. That's why I was asking about Clomid as I know I ovulate but need assistance in lengthening the LP. I have spoken to a consultant once and she you ovulate, you've been pregnant before, the LP is not important and basically stop bothering me. urrr!!

Anyway, sorry to go on!! Really best of luck with your scan and thanks for your posts. x