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Help please! Advice on useless ex!

3 replies

gringa9000 · 15/07/2009 22:44

OK...I know its v late but I would appreciate some advice from anyone. I don't know what to do.
After 3 yrs of regular-ish contact with our son, my ex has been away with his gf for the past 3 months. He took 4 yr old DS out there for a month and dropped him back 2 months ago, then got on next flight back. He has called once since then... hasn't spoken to DS in 6 weeks! DS asking where is his dad, why hasn't called, where is he living, etc... No number on which to call dad, just his GF's mobile. Get a text last wed, saying they got back last Tues and sorry they hadnt been 'able' to be in touch. He then calls today asking to have son for the weekend, at GF's mum's house nearby. I dont know what to do - am totally incandescent with rage as to him f-ing off for 6 weeks, but also know that DS would dearly love to spend a weekend with him. But he has been very unsettled recently, extremely challenging behaviour etc - he is about to start school and I don't want to set a precendent for irregular contact, etc. I want him to know that he can't just f off for 6 weeks then swan back in for a weekend. I just dont know what the right thing to do is. Any suggestions much appreciated!! Many thanks.

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gringa9000 · 16/07/2009 09:10

Reading it back now, I realise this message is probably a bit garbled. I would appreciate anyone's thoughts on the situation though - if anyone has been in a similar situation and what they have done?
Am tempted to go to a solicitor, but don't want to make things nasty.

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cestlavielife · 16/07/2009 14:36

neither you nor solicitor can make ex stick to contact as agreed. he has to take up responsibility. or not. anger at his behaviour only hurts you...your son will need to elarn who in life he can and cannot trust to keep promises, sadly...

but you could set out in writing your proposals and ask him to stick to it.

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gringa9000 · 20/07/2009 09:23

thanks for reading and for the advice cestlavie - what a good name! you are right on all counts. just want son's life to be as settled as poss. will try writing... just get very angry with him, its difficult accepting reality when that reality isn't what you would have chosen for your child....