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contact problems

4 replies

jetcat32 · 06/06/2009 19:05

hi

like so many other lone parents on here, i am having problems with my ex over contact with our two daughters. We have been split up for years, but he still tries to be very controlling, and things were getting really bad between me and him, which was seriously affecting DD1, who is 12. It got to the point where all contact was stopped back in march, which allowed DD1 a bit of breathing space and time to gather her thoughts. During this time, ex has made no effort to see DD2, who is 2.

I have now received a letter from him, stating that he wished contact to be resumed, but for DD2 only. And only for daytime (he was previously having them one night per fortnight, but apparantly having DD2 all day is too much for him as she is tired and whiney

I want to refuse this, and say that i am not prepared to say that DD1 is not allowed up - but rather to at least give her the option? I think she would like to go up sometimes, to see dad's extended family etc. but not every week - but i can't honestly see how i am expected to say to her that her dad only wants DD2, esp as they are so close!

I am going to be ringing solicitors on monday, but any advice in the meantime would be appreacitaed.

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RumourOfAHurricane · 06/06/2009 19:14

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jetcat32 · 06/06/2009 19:26

thanks shineon. I am not communicating with him at all, other than by letter. no phone calls, texts etc. and i am hoping to keep things that way.

I can only guess why he only wants to see DD2, in that DD1 is old enough to answer back to him (not that she is a devil child or anything, she is actually mild SEN) and he cant control her, as he does DD2.

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RumourOfAHurricane · 06/06/2009 21:46

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jetcat32 · 06/06/2009 22:21

havent told her yet - trying to find the right way to do it, without her thinking that he is either mad at her (she has been talking to her teacher about how she feels about her dad - he knows that and is not happy) and/or doesnt love her.

Doesnt matter how i say it really though, it will break her heart. I know she has been a different girl this past couple of month when she hasnt seen him, and long may that continue as far as i am concerned.

I just dont agree with him stating that he will only see DD2. Its all about mind games with him, and i refuse to be drawn into them. So, guess i will asking solicitor to write a strongly worded letter back!