He's had me arrested!!

[Fayecorgasm]

idiot ex started an argument and refused to leave the house when I asked him to. In frustration I picked up a small toy and threw it at him ( I know I shouldn't have!) He then went and had me arrested for assault!
Spent 4 hours in police station, even the Police couldn't belive he had done it and called him a wimp!

[mankymummy]

they arrested you even though the police "couldnt believe it".

im that they bothered to arrest you. we had a massive riot in our city over the weekend and i witnessed some horrific behaviour that didnt prompt the police arrest.

[Fayecorgasm]

they had to arrest because a complaint had been made apparently. They eventually gave me a caution.

[solidgoldSneezeLikeApig]

Oh damn, you shouldn't have acepted the caution without taking legal advice as it will stay on your records. I think you should consult a solicitor - for one thing there may be measures you can take against XP for refusing to leave the house when asked to (if he doesn't live there he has no right to be there if you don't want him there).

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

It's Domestic Violence, innit, and (thank God) they do treat that more seriously these days than in the past. But a caution seems extreme - it's the same as you pleading guilty. I do wish more people understood this - do the police not point it out to you when offering the caution?

[Fayecorgasm]

shite, I did sign the paperwork. I admitted throwing it, but pointed out it was just to try and get him out. He was smirking in the doorway, just refusing to move his leg out of the way.
It was a case of, "sign this and it's over, or go to court and take your chances".

[Fayecorgasm]

and by the way, the neighbours have told me he was walking up and down the street clutching his head, trying to get sympathy! It was a small bath toy ffs!!

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Y'see, it's much cheaper if you "just sign", saves all sorts of paperwork and adds to their "solved" rate. There's not a chance in hell this case would have got as far as court. I'm sorry.

[Fayecorgasm]

god, that's not good news...thanks anyway everyone..

[solidgoldSneezeLikeApig]

Do you have a proper written agreement with your XP about his access to DC? If not, you should sort one out. Also, don't allow him in your home any more, make arrangements for handovers to be done elsewhere or by someone else, or have someone with you when he comes to the house.

[solidgoldSneezeLikeApig]

Also, talk to a solicitor if you can, because it sounds like you had a defence anyway - if this man doesn't live in your house and you had asked him to leave, you would be entitled to use 'reasonable force' to make him leave (I think but am not sure) - and throuwing a small plastic toy at someone sounds like reasonable force to me.

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

OK, it's actually not as bad as I thought:

"A simple caution is not a criminal conviction, but it will be recorded on the police database." There's more on the link.

[thumbwitch]

arse for you - my bro got nobbled on this by his ex as well, for grasping her coat lapels in order to encourage her to stop barging into the house - he ended up in a police station on a friday night, having left the DC with a babysitter, refusing to take the caution until midnight cos they banged him up and wouldn't let him go until he accepted it. afaik he wasn't offered or told he needed legal representation, but he couldn't leave the DC with the babysitter past midnight so gave in

[Nothernbird]

I'm ashamed to say that I hit my XH when he told me he was leaving (sheer frustration at the appaling timing, but I won't go into that). He reported me to the police and I also ended up with a caution, even though the police also said it was a waste of time (I have never been so scared as when I was sitting in that police station!). I remember him telling me that he 'saved me the embarrassment of a squad car turning up at the house'. He didn't even have a bruise where I'd hit him. I'm not saying what I did was right by any means, and I would NEVER do it again, but I do think his behaviour was extreme.

[lostdad]

My ex has dined out on an untrue allegation on the same scale of this to frustrate contact for the last 2 years.

Now she's broke a court order because of it.

Either this sort of thing is justifiable or it isn't - full stop.

[Snorbs]

It's for exactly these reasons that my ex is no longer allowed to enter my home.

[Debra1981]

The only reason I wasn't arrested when I slapped my ex across the face while he threatened to kill my parents, was that I was breastfeeding at the time, but another time got a call from police to arrange to go into the station at my convenience (I think by this time they'd realised who the shitbag here was) and be arrested for an hour or so cos he accused me of kicking him unconscious (I wish..). Police records sent to my solicitor show that he also wrongly reported me for using the wrong sized child car seat - they didn't bother contacting me about that one!

[Fayecorgasm]

well, it goes on and on...had a visit today from Social Services checking up on children. They were satisfied everything was fine, but it was so scary. All this out of spite, nasty little man.
Thanks for all your responses, seems like I'm not the only one who has been through this.