coooweeeee **IloveTIFFANY** step this way please

[OnlyWantsOne]

Hope you're ok? Have sent a few posts, but how did you get on with Cafcass officer? Saw my solicitor last night, she thinks at the first hearing I won't have to speak in court, but may have to talk to a Cafcass person in private. Have been told to tell them all my issues with XP seeing DD at all due to risk factors.

What are they like? How are you holding up?

How old are your DC?

[OnlyWantsOne]

*seen even, not sent

[GypsyMoth]

Hello!
Well cafcass lady told me that in all her years in her job my ex's statement was one of the worst she has ever read!! Simply because he is so matter of fact about the dv on me. And the dv on new partner. She also spoke to him and he refuses to travel the 200 plus miles,to meet with her. She said that she will meet my kids next week (14,12,10 and 6) and get their views, but due to his increased violence she won't let it goout of a contact centre.

At our first hearing in nov I didn't speak either, but they wanted me to speak to cafcass in court,which I did. With him present. I agreed to phone contact,and that he would send postcardsand pocket money....this hasn't been going too well so reported that too. I'm feeling reassured,and if it ever moves from a congac t centre then I will def ask for third party handovers

[OnlyWantsOne]

can I completely refuse to speak infront of XP? I am so intimidated by him, he makes me shake and (lovely as it is) vomit - when ever I see him. My nerves will be shot and I wont be able to think straight with him looking at me.

[GypsyMoth]

Yes. You won't be forced to speak to him. You can refuse, and in court,you can ask for a separate room to wait in. Then just don't look at him in court.

My friend feels the way you do. She was well looked after in court,just ask in advance . Imade sure I walked into court looking fabulous, hair done, the works! Just gave me extra confidence.

[OnlyWantsOne]

I was thinking that wearing a suit and looking in control and putting on a front wont really help my cause. I want them to see me for what I am, scared, small and very frightened....

What to wear?

[GypsyMoth]

Not jeans. Just smart is best. And maybe take something to do as waiting around is inevitable. Take a friend maybe, they have to wait outside courtroom, but is good to have some support. And money for meters if driving!! My sol kept running out to top his up!