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Would my 8 year old suffer if I moved?

(5 Posts)
mocca Tue 26-Aug-08 14:30:04

I'm a 51 year old divorced mum to a girl of 8 and separated from my ex about 2 years ago.
He now lives close to me so he can see a lot of our daughter ? she?s with him about a third of the time and me the rest. It?s a situation that works well and our child is very happy. My ex has a girlfriend who has a child and my daughter is well-inegrated into his new set-up.

Things have been complicated by the fact that I've been involved with a wonderful man for some months now and we?re deeply in love. The problem is that he lives over 3 hours drive away and the distance is very hard for us and we?re very keen to be together. But he wouldn?t be able to move to me for a couple of years because of work and dependent children. I haven?t considered moving to him until now as I?m becoming more and more unhappy about not being with him and he feels the same. The main thing stopping me giving it serious thought is my daughter and the fact that she would in all probability only see her dad every other weekend (plus holidays of course), although I would do my best to maximise his time with her. Am I being selfish even considering it? I appreciate that my ex may of course be able to veto anything I decided to do legally - does anyone know about this? The alternative is to wait 2-3 years until my boyfriend can move to be with me.

well my i8nitial thought is..your boyfriend won't moive because of his children, but you should? even though you have children?

i would have my reservations about it for the reasons you have .

would your ex having custody be an option?

lostdad Tue 26-Aug-08 17:03:27

My ex has done this to me.

For my situation (which may or may not be similar to yours) it seems she had to decide what was more important - her boyfriend's job or our son's right to a father - and she chose the latter.

I don't want to appear harsh here - this is just my perspective as a father.

lostdad Tue 26-Aug-08 17:07:09

Sorry...I meant the former. blush

mocca Tue 26-Aug-08 17:34:00

I'm so sorry lostdad - how are things for you now, how often do you see you son?

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