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holy god

(7 Posts)
prettyfly1 Tue 15-Jul-08 19:37:02

out of interest looked at f4j website. Now i dont believe in one parent only unless mental illness, addiction or abuse validate it. so to be fair a lot of the front page validate my own thinking on the family jsutice system. i did agree that the man sent to prison was an extreme and inflammatory reaction to a bad situation. however. then i got to the page where they teach men how to get out of the csa situation. THAT IS SICK. i dont want money off my ex. but if i needed it all he has to do is go there and they tell him to not pay. YES THATS RIGHT. WHY DONT YOU JUST NOT PAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN AT ALL. BECAUSE THATS HOW TO PUT THEIR INTERESTS FIRST. ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Can you imagine if we built a site called "lets screw them for as much as possible". I am all for equal rights. i dont really think its fair. but do they not realise how easy they are making it for bad fathers and men without a concience to screw the system - thus killing their own credibility and devaluing the rights of the good men they are trying so hard to serve. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

shybaby Tue 15-Jul-08 19:51:00

They have credibility?

prettyfly1 Tue 15-Jul-08 20:11:57

once upon a time yes. cant understand why tho. what a fucking crock thinly disguised as misodginistic "but why should we pay for our own families"bullshit.

shybaby Tue 15-Jul-08 20:27:57

I try to ignore them as much as possible. I dont think my blood pressure would take it.

Im not really sure why they need a page advising them on ways to avoid the CSA. Ignoring letters and standing on his own doorstep saying he doesn't live there seems to work pretty well for my ex wink

prettyfly1 Tue 15-Jul-08 20:41:37

lol. yours and many others i would imagine.

treaclepudd Tue 15-Jul-08 23:08:26

Lol! could say loads on this...well, personnaly, i have my own thoughts and opinions on f4j...ive heard 'rumours' about the 'main players' but don't know if any of it is true of course and the recent events havn't helped their cause.

yes, it's scandalous that they have a page on avoiding the csa-guess that shows the type of guy they are targetting/enrolled?

must admit when i heard on the radio [on the way to work] that they were on Harmen's roof the other day in Herne Hill, i did consider turning right and driving over. was v.happy with her response in the commons that day wink.

i don't think they do themselves any favours. guess it wouldnt be so ironic if the f/t parent dressed up as 'wonder/super woman/man' as we are-it's really hard work! it says its about 'justice' and family courts but there seems to be more.

maybe if we dressed up as my ex, with a big fat bear belly and clothes of a teenager, greying hair, refusing to pay more than a meagre 20% of my net income towards the lives of my kids [which we made 50/50], smoking fags, driving an expensive car, rolling out of a police cell on a saturday morning in my suit to pick up my kids, telling lies, etc etc and jumping on one of their homes, we may be heard??

i also wonder if we drew up a statement of 'wants and rights', how different or similar it would be to theirs-i wonder if it is all about feeling a sense of fairness and justice-which is always different in every case-surely [in which case hows about a dead cheap/free specialist court for split up parents who cant agree, that takes into account actions of all parties, history, present and future of all parties and thats flexible enough to support people growing older and lives changing].

i do think the csa needs an official group to bombard it and make it realise how unfair the whole thing is-especially to f/t parents on benefits. i also, equally think as much should be done for unmarried its not illeagal to have children outside marriage, why is this not refelected when these relationships break down where children are involved.

one last thing, sorry, is that...i think it dosn't matter if their are two or one parents present in the home. what matters is that the child feels secure, loved and is happy and content.

treaclepudd Tue 15-Jul-08 23:44:42

...basically the whole set up is inadequate for all parties involved in family break ups and the whole system needs a good shake up.

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