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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

Sunday alone

11 replies

Scramble · 09/02/2008 23:15

I am getting really upset at the thought of spending tomorrow alone, I have to have kids ready for 9am so PIL can pick them up they will drop of with exH he willreturn tham at 5pm as he can't be arsed giving them dinner.

I am finding it really hard to deal with handing them over what ever days it is convenient for him, but on the other hand I really want them to spend time with daddy. Last week it didn't suit so I had them.

I was working today and they were both at a workshop all day Fri, Ds will be out all day Monday so I feel really cheated on time with them. I didn't choose this sio I find it really hard to deal with not having them when they are off schools and activities. but I still tried to perseude exH to have them longer tommorow but he is not interested, trying to do the best thing for kids but it is killing me especially when dd being funny with me. .

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Scramble · 09/02/2008 23:24

Don't know what I will do all day tomorrow.

I find I am trying to compete with exH in the interesting activities stakes, I have promised to take them to the Chinese when they come hom ethen to have a chocolate fountain at home, I feel I have to keep up with him as all he does is cinema, swimming and other interesting activities. DD swings bewteen hating me and loving me hating most of the time.

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singledadofthree · 09/02/2008 23:28

you dont have to compete tho its true the absent one always seems to get all the attention and does cool stuff. but thats cos they have little or no responsibilies. and the love/hate thing settles down, the kids are probably still pissed off about the whole thing and wont know how to express it. just keep being you, dont worry about having to make them happy, they are, we can all get ppissed off at times.

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Scramble · 09/02/2008 23:31

Oh I know but it breaks my heart when DD doesn't want to come home and crys to stay at granny's. She goes on about how great daddy is and when I asked her about going for the girly day out we planned she really wasn't fussed but was all excited about her day with daddy and going swimming with granny, nut anything with me, she is not fussed. I really don't want to bribe her with chocolate fountains.

I don't want to sit around crying like a sad case tommorow wainting for them.

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singledadofthree · 09/02/2008 23:37

its cos she knows youre there, all dependable and such. he probably feels he has to try harder to make up for not being around - ever thought of that? dont keep beating yourself up about it all, she's getting the best of both for now which has to be good. my ex never bothered that much and if the sun is out on a sunday afternoon the kids dont get a look in. her motorbike comes first and they know it.

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Scramble · 09/02/2008 23:41

He has to take them out as he couldn't exactly take them back to his girlfriends mother's house where he lives (I think), so he has to take them out somewhere.

He spent one night this week here and the DS choose to watch TV in the house with him rather than going swimming or something. I went upstairs and did Uni work.

He normally takes spends one night with DS but isn't fussed now DS has a workshop that night, obviously taking him to activities and waiting to collect him is beneath him.

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singledadofthree · 09/02/2008 23:46

well there you go. kids soon get to know who is there for them no matter what. especially when it comes to all the tedious stuff. sadly it doesnt stop them missing the one who isnt there - no matter how crap they are.

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Scramble · 09/02/2008 23:50

I know I know, DS is old enough to get "it", exH was never around much anyway and I have felt like a single mum for so long. DD is the one that is reacting badly and I know it is all about her coping with the idea that daddy has left but it doesnt help much when I am having to drag her screaming back home, she has said home doesn't feel right and I mam trying so hard to make home homely for her, but I don't kow if I can do emnough to make up for all this.

Feck if I get a camper I might just get into it and keep driving.

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singledadofthree · 10/02/2008 00:00

theres nothing you can do to speed it up. just make sure ex knows how dd feels and that he realises his part in making sure she is ok - maybe wishful thinking, but only time will sort it all out. and here's to a better summer, i'm off to dream of bright red lancias

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mummyfantastico · 10/02/2008 04:02

Scramble I really feel for you. My dds are going to see daddy and his bitch faced whore gf tomorrow (actually today!) and although I'm going for lunch with family will wish my lovely dds were with me.
It is the worst part of the break up imo. I didn't ask for any of this, but especially didn't ask to not be able to spend time with dds. Especially when x can't be bothered to do anything with them and they often watch loads of tv or play on their own while x goes on xbox or computer.
Feel so sad for you that you are bearing the brunt of your dds emotional turmoil. Just remember that she probably feels like she can be a pain to you because she knows you will love her and won't leave her whatever she says and does.
I hope that in time, when x has the girls, I'll be able to enjoy my free time.

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TLV · 10/02/2008 09:54

well i'm spending day with family, just so i can get out really, i'm too finding it hard doing the handover, stbx dh came at 9am this morning and I have to say he looked rough and miserable not sure why but i on made an effort and looked reasonably ok

when he left i called him all the names under the sun and made me feel slightly better

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Scramble · 10/02/2008 11:33

I am debating if I can be asred going for a shower, going to look at some campervans I can't afford to depress cheer me up.

My Pil that I am close to are away for the day too, they took kids up for him so I have no one here today.

You can only watch american idol for so long so I will have to mmove my butt soon, Going to but some bribes treats for kids later so I better get dressed unles I want to cause a stir streaking through tesco.

I have been trying my best to see the positive side of everything, like when exH says he will stay and put them to bed but he still leaves early I try to say Oh good I get to put them to bed, Its hard trying to flip everything to put a positive slant on it all, but I will keep trying. I have been smiling as much as I can to try to persude my body I am happy see keep going it mught seep in , come on one more push , there I am done!!!!