Any single Mum's by choice?

[Gidget19]

Hello, I am single and expecting my twins in a few weeks. I decided to stop waiting for a partner to come along and go it alone.

Anyone else in the same boat?

[IHaveBrilloHair]

No, but I've raised Dd alone since she was 6 weeks old, no input, or financial help from her Dad, no long term/live in partner and Dd is now 19.

[niclw]

Congratulations 💐 I had my DS by iui with donor sperm. He is now 2 years old. I gave up trying to find a partner too and decided to go down this route. I'm so glad that I did x

[solomumbyDC]

Plenty, but a bit scattered: welcome to MN!

[DressingGown87]

I fell pregnant last February, we had stopped dating before I found out. I told him at 12week due to previous losses, and we agreed I would do it alone, as he no intention of being in her life. She is now 12weeks old, and I’ve been alone throughout.

I won’t lie, it’s been tough, but it’s so worth it. You get every cuddle, smile, bad day and good day. It’s your way, it’s your routine, which I see as easier than trying to coparent with someone who has no interest.

Your not alone. Good luck with your twins.

[solomumbyDC]

Start reaching out to others nearby before your twins are born if you can, via ante-natal class / community midwives & health visitors. Find your nearest Twins club - all probably on Zoom nowadays, but they will be invaluable the day you need a shoulder to lean on, someone to bring in a pack of nappies or whatever. Where are you located? Is there a local Mutual Aid group who could pair you up with a buddy for the first 6 weeks, for moral upport as well as practical?

[Gidget19]

Thanks for all your replies.

I’ve been in touch with one twin group. Seems so odd now that we can’t go anywhere and actually meet in person. I’d have joined all the groups going ordinarily. I’m South East London. I hadn’t thought about a mutual aid group so will look into that.

[Bouncemeup]

Single mum by choice here, DS is 2 and currently trying with the same donor sperm for my second baby. My DS gives me a lot of joy and jokes! Congrats on your twins

[Hotdrop1]

I'm an SMC of a 14 year old boy - best decision I ever made. I went to a Donor Conception Network meeting when he was about three and met a mum with a boy of the same age and we all get on like a house on fire still. Both boys are totally unfazed by having donor dads - and about having loads of half siblings mainly based in the US. They just view it as something interesting about themselves. Good luck with your twins - amazing! - my friend (not a SMC) who had twins found twin mother and baby groups really helpful.

[Gidget19]

@Bouncemeup @Hotdrop1 it’s so great to hear your positive stories. I know it will be hard but totally rewarding and it’s lovely to hear just how wonderful other people’s experiences have been. I’ve already bought a few books about single parents and donor fathers for when they are older.

[Hope4theBestPlan4theWorst]

My best friend has twins by a sperm donor ( basically a male friend she slept with and she got twins so was super happy!)
She belongs to Tamba

twinstrust.org

Rebranded now I think 🤔

It's hard with covid going on but usually there's lots of things
Going on and meet ups and twins groups

Congratulations

[Butterflyfox]

Just seen this thread and happy to find it. Just joined Mumsnet and I looked for a SMC thread as the lone parents was was full of problems with ex partners... One of the many joys of being an SMC! How are you getting on? I am SMC of two kids - a year apart so not quite twins but close enough! Quite demanding at the start but wonderful to have them so close now. I hope you and enjoying yours!

[Sla3clg]

I’m 36 and did my first insemination earlier this month to be a solo mum by choice - I’m totally shocked to have a missed period and a positive (albeit very faint line) test. I feel guilty it may have worked so fast, and now I feel so unsure of my choice, I feel panic and anxiety, and am so aware this is early days - I expected it to take me a year or more to be in this position and many tries later! I’m taking another test tomorrow to see if the line is darker… I’m hoping it’s normal to freak out a bit when you first get the result, and in a few days, I hope it’ll sink in… aside from a couple of friends who knew I was going for the IUI, I’ve really done this alone so far so am dreading sharing with my parents and family… I think that’s partially where the anxiety is coming from!

[Sla3clg]

So nice to read someone who’s been through this - twice! :)

[TinyTroubleMaker]

No but I've been 100% on my own since 6 weeks pregnant and done reasonably well professionally such that we're independent so I have much more in common with single mothers by choice, than those with exes in the picture, shared custody and all that. DD is 7. Would love to know more people with our circumstances IRL.