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What fo all you single mums (dads) do on weekends? Do you ever feel lonely?

(5 Posts)
CakesRus3 Sat 03-Oct-20 20:29:53

When it comes to weekends, my dc's 12 and 15 spend time with friends, if not, they're in their rooms chatting to friends or doing something on their phones. They do like to sit and watch the odd film with me and sometimes i can persuade them to take a nice walk with me but not as soften as they did when they were younger. I usually go to bed early in the week because i can't bear sitting with my own thoughts. Up until the beginning of the year, my idea of a relaxing evening was a bubble bath (with a glass of wine), something nice to eat, and a film. I don't go out, never really have as my dc's don't go to their dads. I remember actually feeling excited about the weekend. I have had to change my diet as I was diagnosed with coeliac. Still really struggling with nausea so I don't enjoy eating (also struggling to swallow due to anxiety the GP thinks). Struggling with feelings of being anxious therefore given up alcohol. I enjoy a nice walk and bubble bath still but feeling really strange at the moment. I just don't want to be at home. My dc's are loving company but like I explained, spend more of their weekends with friends and in their rooms. I'm glad they're happy. I'm feeling a little lost and I think maybe lonely. I don't know how to get that sense of exciting back.

OP’s posts: |
Graphista Sat 03-Oct-20 20:43:37

This is usually more of an issue when the dc are little and you can't afford babysitting and are trapped at home with them.

But in your case they are of an age you don't need to worry about that.

It's difficult at the moment with covid as people aren't socialising much at all, but under normal circumstances you could get out and about and meet people at weekends.

What are your hobbies/interests if you have any particular ones?

I see you like films - there are film clubs for particular interests and groups that go to the cinema together

Just basing off things I've done in the past (currently housebound so a bit stuck!):

Walking groups
Choirs
Knitting groups
Volunteering roles (long history of guiding and scouting in my family and it's only been a few years since I stopped being a leader/helper, great fun!)
Gaming clubs/groups - not necessarily "video games" (yes I'm an old duffer!) but board games, card games etc some are geared towards a particular game eg chess or poker, some all kinds of board/card games are played
Creative classes - art, writing, drama
Exercise classes/gym/swimming

If more home based things you're looking for and to include a mix

there are online clubs and groups for all kinds of interests and discussion, I'm on the forums for some of the phone games I play, also music fan groups, film fan groups etc

Reading - I love kindle myself but others prefer real books only

Puzzles - crosswords, sudoku etc

Crafts - knitting, cross stitch, crochet, card making (you could make all your Christmas cards if you start now), painting and drawing, alter/upcycle old clothes and household items (I'm more clothes side, a relative enjoys buying old furniture and doing it up)

Use the time to batch cook/bake

Learn something - a new language, a skill whatever takes your fancy

Plus of course loads of mn'ing! grin

Loneliness hits at times as a lone parent are you recently a lone parent? You get used to being alone. I've been single (to all intents and purposes I'm not a saint wink) for 18 years and after just a short while to be honest I found I preferred it!

Does that help any?

CakesRus3 Sat 03-Oct-20 20:56:58

43Graphista thankyou for your message. Lots of great advice/tips, really appreciate it. I have downloaded an app for walking routes. Walked a few.
I do lots of puzzle games on my phone at bed time. Maybe I should get myself a kindle. I like the idea of making Christmas cards, I think my dc's would enjoy that too.
I'm not sure how I would look into a creative class? I would love to join an exercise class but I just don't have the confidence. Netball would be fun but covid has stopped so much. Not that I would be confident enough to join a netball group. Haven't played since school. I think I might look in the craft section when I go shopping. Yes, you have given me lots to think about, thankyou so much.
I have been single 10 years. Life has always been busy as o went back to school when my exh left. Working and having dc's, I never had time to feel lonely. Shattered maybe! I remember looking forward to weekends. It just feels very very different lately.
Thanks again.

OP’s posts: |
Graphista Sun 04-Oct-20 02:39:54

Each stage of motherhood is an adjustment - I'm going through the "empty nest" part at the moment myself

Creative classes/workshops - check with your local council, local Facebook groups, meet-up app etc there's bound to be something! I'm in the arse end of nowhere and there's 3 am dram groups, 2 writing groups and a shit ton of choirs! (Maybe being arse end of nowhere is WHY we have em all?)

Exercise classes - I'm fat! I get what you're saying but honestly most people are far too worried about how THEY look and keeping up with the class to worry about how YOU look

There comes a point where you really have to take a "fuck it" attitude and have a go if it's something you want to do.

I'm also disabled so I suck at exercise! One particular issue I have is I can't keep my balance - so when I'm able to get out I do aquarobics coz then if I fall I just fall in the pool! And I don't care about looking a tit! Bit of self deprecation goes a long way, I used to challenge others to guess how often I'd tip over per session! grin

I did warn other people not to get too close though as didn't wanna hurt them.

I love having a kindle, you can get magazines on them too, if you have prime membership you can "borrow" magazines you switch them out for new ones when you've read them, no regularity which ones are available but I like that as it's a variety then

Busy is good, but remember it's good to relax too.

Enrosadira Sun 04-Oct-20 02:51:05

Bliss

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