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Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Lone parents

so what happens now then?

21 replies

munz · 09/09/2007 12:15

never thought i'd be asking these questions! but what happens now? DH/H/EH has decided he wants a divorce.

i'm not relying on him for mainenance payments or contact either - he says he'll sort the bills etc and won't screw me over with money - but i'm not counting on it.

DS is still v young and tbh DH has been away a lot over the past year with work, prob not helped hte issues, but what do you say as they get older?

OP posts:

Report

munz · 09/09/2007 12:24

also what do you do wiht wedding dresses/shoes/rings etc??

OP posts:

allgonebellyup · 09/09/2007 12:52

well my dress is about to be chucked out, my rings are back in their boxes in the drawer..all quite sad really.

good luck

Aimsmum · 09/09/2007 13:17

Message withdrawn

munz · 09/09/2007 19:55

what do you mean only allowed to keep £10 if on benifits?

tbh I want to get out and back to work ASAP - ie as soon as housing is sorted out then i'll go back to work, althou XH is now saying he can't manage the amount i'm asking (£300) and we would only be entitled to £195 under CSA. but we couldn't survive on that no way. he seems to think that I can claim all benifits and get everything incl gas/elec/phone etc all paid for me. don't knwo where he's got those ideas form thou.

OP posts:

Aimsmum · 09/09/2007 20:28

Message withdrawn

munz · 09/09/2007 20:54

thanks AM - that sounds a bit crap tbh. was thinking of doing a DHL type job PT (the deliver from home ones) but was worried as on the site it says 16 hours you loose IS, but the IS inrelation to maintenance (sp) the IS is a lot less - that would mean DS and I would have £130 p/w for everything. def need more advice tI think. new SIl is a benifits/council/entitlements type person so I guess i'll ahve to talk to her about it all.

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Shoshable · 09/09/2007 21:05

h munz are you ok, here if you need me. and X will have to pay about 3.25 a month if all others in the same postion I know are anythig to go by.

Shoshable · 09/09/2007 21:06

sorry that is 325.00 a mnoth, thay will take into acount that he will live in the block which comes out of his ages before he gets them so will have a lot of disposable sal;ary.

Shoshable · 09/09/2007 21:11

Munz, go see Pete Doherty, he is really good and will sort everything out for you.

munz · 09/09/2007 21:16

I know shosh - off to see him tomorrow while H has J. am looking into the MOD nomination schemes down here there's some in an ok area (close to mums) but are 3 beds - which I won't get and hte 2 beds are in southsea/the heart of town - not an area at all I want to raise J. (also have my heart set on a certian school/nursery for him! lol)

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Shoshable · 09/09/2007 21:18

while in the army if he dosnt pay maintenace you will get it straight from glasgow if you apply

munz · 09/09/2007 21:22

how do you do that (have a friend also goin thru the same thing) but her XH is a real twat - being a proper knob not signing any papers etc or anything.

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Shoshable · 09/09/2007 22:02

you needto get a attachmenyt of earnings Army is pretty hot on maintenance being paid.

almostmidnight · 09/09/2007 22:24

Sorry Shoshable, what is an attachment of earnings. My dh in army too. I know he has sent for a pension forecast to see what I am entitled too. He is paying maintenance but I don't qualify for income support anyway. Thanks

almostmidnight · 09/09/2007 22:24

What's an MOD nomination scheme too.

Tinkerbel5 · 10/09/2007 10:20

attachment of earning, or deduction order, is when money gets taken out of a wage to pay for something, eg a debt or child maintenance.

munz · 10/09/2007 13:09

mod nominations scheme is basically where you apply (like HA) and they offer you 2 houses in set areas - all details are on the amry web site, or also your welfare officer should know.

why are you not able to get IS - if you don't mind me asking?

what's the pension forcast for? I always said I wasn't intrested in any pension of H's but I want to make sure DS is provided for now and in the future - (can his maintenace payments go up/down depending on his rank?)

off to see our welfare at 2 so will let you know how I go if you like - you can CAT me thru MN.

so far he's being civial, but is wanting to keep some of the stuff I wanted to sell (damn it! lol)

OP posts:

orangehead · 10/09/2007 13:18

im so sorry, im also struggling with what to tell them and what not to tell them , basically when they ask i try and answer just what they have asked without going into to much detail. they are 4 and 5 so im sure i will probably have to give more detail when they older, but not going to give it till they ask. i also try to b as honest as i can and nothing wrong with admitting that u dont understand either what happened (if that the case). regarding my dress and rings i sold them and treated the kids, but i wouldnt advice doing that till u feel ready. the photos i destroted expect a select few that i have put away in case the kids want to see them when they older. hope u ok

almostmidnight · 10/09/2007 13:26

Hi Munz

Apparently I don't apply for income support because husband is paying me maintenance voluntarily. It seems to be easier to do without it anyway.

The pension forecast your husband has to send away for and it will cost him about £170 to get it done. It basically tells you how much of husband's 22 year lump sum and pension payments you are entitled to once they leave army. My husband only has four years left so I have told him I won't divorce him until after he leaves so I am entitled to his widow's pension too (not that I want something to happen to him like that). Apparently ex-wives are only entitled to pension payments at age 60 unlike themselves who start getting it after they retire from army at 22 year point. I have told husband I expect some of this payment too as the lump sum and this money is the only way I can now dream of affording a house for me and my 2 dds.

Think I will go speak to welfare office about this nomination scheme once I have had a look on internet. Thanks for your help

almostmidnight · 10/09/2007 13:28

Sorry, forgot to say, don't think maintenance payments has anything to do with rank as such but earnings, mine is giving me the same as it says on the CSA website for 2 children with mother with main custody i.e. £100 per week.

almostmidnight · 10/09/2007 14:01

Just had look at nomination scheme on line but the nearest I can get is Glasgow or Edinburgh which are a good three hours away from where I am at moment so don't think these will be any good for me. Shall remember about this though in case I know of anyone else in same situation. Cheers

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