Please advise me.😔

[Nanny15]

I dont know how.much more i can take. We have a court order ex sees ds 10-4 on 2 of his days off. Ds has started nursery ex now demands extra time and saying he wants overnights. That the court order was only for a few weeks but its not its the court order. He is continously late to pick up at 10 hes cancelled 4 hours before pick up on 2 occasions before christmas as he was "ill". I have been threatened online police informed. Hes tellng me i dont agreee to anything if it doesnt benefit me that its his rights that we have equal rights. Everything is a fight and i cant keep doing it. I dont know what to do anymore. Help anyone ????

[june2007]

Well I would stick to what the court agreed for now,. Perhaps in future he can up his time I mean why not over night? But I get there is normally a background to the decisions.

[Whynosnowyet]

It isn't in ds's interests to have an abusive df in his life imo. He wants more contact then tell him a judge can decide that. You don't have to do as he says op.

[Nanny15]

Overnights he never asked for in june, he got what he asked for and ever since ive had abuse over and over. He has never took an interest in our son till we split, mental abuse was the reason we split and it took me 6.months to get him to leave my house.. he expects me to provide everything ive only just stopped sending lunch and he moaned at that sayung he pays me for it. Ds is all i care about and if i thought it was in his best interests to go overnight id happily do it. Ex is always late to meet me at 10am saying traffic so hows he meant to get ds to school. We meet in public for my safety and where possible my dad does the handovers. Hes cancelling to go out with friends not because hes ill. I feel its his way of trying to control me again. Ive had panic attacks all day and everytime its contact. I just dont know what i can do to stop all the animosity 😔😔

[Whynosnowyet]

Stop providing anything op. A judge would tell him to provide in his time. May be tough to actually think ds will suffer but ultimately he won't. Log everything for future legal meetings.
You are enabling him to be a lazy fucker.

[Nanny15]

Thank you for listening. Ive decided to keep to whats ordered and to ignore messages off him unless its about ds. Anything else he can take me back to court to sort it out properly. Its so mentally draining z

[SPloveslife34]

Some people have advised in this situation to either stick to email contact and block on the phone . I had similar years ago so my advice would be buy a cheap payg phone for when he has your ds and insist on email contact only. If you can minimise any contact with him and use a third party. If he messes you about then reduce contact . He ll have to go back to court. I wish I was firmer with my ex years ago but you live and learn.
Good luck op

[Nanny15]

I only use email now. His phone has been block for months but the new one is i dont get emails can you message me. I said no its emails. Because of his shift pattern its hard to use a third party with drop offs pick ups, but wherever possible thats whats happened. Ds has just started nursery so sometimes its going to be pick up from there on his days. He just makes everything really hard work, ive just told him that ds will have hosp apps and if it lands on his day ill have to take him he asked why, i said well do you know why hes going he said no i said and thats why. Hes basically a babysitter he has no interest in ds its just all about me. And how to hurt me. Now i wont be manipulated by him anymore im sticking to my guns x

[SPloveslife34]

Well done why can't he take him to appointments if it's on his days? Try to be strong and not let him get to you that are good at using the child to get to the mother .

[Nanny15]

He cant take him as he has no idea whats wrong even though ive explained it 🙈 just easier for me