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5 replies

PurpleSweetPeas · 16/09/2019 21:34

Does anyone know of any where that I can go for advice?

I have a contact order that went to court and works quite well normally but as soon as anything comes up that involves us agreeing different arrangements then it descends into an argument via email. Normally because exH wants something that is not acceptably fair.

Is there an organise that would be able to give advice and support?

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kitk · 16/09/2019 22:06

Not sure my lovely. Can only tell you I advocate longer term arrangements for everyone's benefit. Ex left me just before dd turned 2 but we now have a food pattern

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kitk · 17/09/2019 19:25

OP I'm so sorry- looks like I half finished my post last night, made a typo and pressed post 🙄 It has been a long week already- sorry!

I meant to explain that I wasn't willing to make a short term deal with ex that would last until DD2 was in school, plus he wanted 50-50 one week on and off which I couldn't do with childcare and work etc... so even tho she was only 2 we started with 8 weeks out of 13 a year (majority of school hols) and a weekend in the months when a school hol dsnt fall- this works as we live 4 hours apart and is sustainable until DD wants to make her own arrangements with him. Some exes will mess you about and drag you back to court regularly which is stressful for everyone involved. I can only suggest considering what is fair and getting a kick ass solicitor to bring him into line for the long term greater good

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PurpleSweetPeas · 18/09/2019 20:16

Thank you @kitk for replying. I wasn't ignoring you in purpose!

We have quite a good contact order that dies actually stipulate lots of things - this is great!

But then there are things like 'two days extra will be given to the father at christmas' in amongst a whole host of other very exact things. The ex even wanted who us cookig Xmas dinner

So his idea of taking those two days is the weekend before Xmas. When he has them pretty much from 10am Xmas Eve to 6pm 27th. I get them Xmas day night till sometime on Boxing Day.

I'm just upset and annoyed that he thinks those two extra dats should be my weekend. And then I worry I'm being unreasonable hence my request for a third party to run it by

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kitk · 18/09/2019 22:33

Don't worry, didn't think you were ignoring tho you should def ignore my first non sensical message- sorry again about that!

Re Xmas I think my response would depend on whether you both get additional time off at Xmas or if you'll be working and your weekend is your only time with kids. Basically if he has other time off he shouldn't take your weekend but if he doesn't and you'll have time off aside from this weekend I'd be gracious and let him have it, esp as you have them Xmas day. These compromises are never easy tho

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PurpleSweetPeas · 18/09/2019 22:44

I will be working more then him over Xmas but he will never admit that.

I don't have them all Xmas day.
He has them from 10am Xmas Eve till 12pm Xmas day then I have to go and collect them getting back home for 2pm so Xmas day is evenly split. I then have them to 6pm Boxing Day when he collect and then he has them till 6pm on 27th. It's a bit messy but that's what he wanted. He also has them