Working full time & parenting... is it possible?!

[Amy0801]

Hey, basically my 4 year old is no longer seeing his dad, he has become dangerous and me and my little one had to fully write any contact off.

I work full time, as well as doing my degree on a Monday and Tuesday night, financially I get help towards childcare costs, other than that I rely on my student finance and my wage to get us through.

He is starting school in September and I’m just having a pure panic, howwww is it possible to juggle the 2? Can I juggle the 2? Is anyone else in a similar situation where they are managing?

I’m pretty much on my own as my mum lives abroad and my grandparents are too ill to help out now.

I’m happy to get a new job and lower my hours, just don’t see how I’ll be able to afford living, even if anyone has any stories of being a parent that hustles hard? 💪🏼

Thank you

[poppingoff]

Mine went to after school care. His dad was around, but all childcare fell to me arrange. The after school care part was fine. But summer holiday costs were a struggle. But I managed it. Are you receiving tax credits?

Your degree - do you mean you are doing that on a Mon/Tue night away from your DC and having to pay childcare?

I managed to do 9 months of a degree before it just got too much and I left. But I was attending the actual class during work time. It was the studying that was killing me. But I hated the course and was under pressure at work. Something had to give for me. If you can stick at it any way, please do!

Are you getting CM from the dad?

[Amy0801]

Thanks for replying! Yes so it’s a honours degree, classed as full time, but the lecturers do it for mature students on a Monday and Tuesday night 6pm till 9pm, with one year left I really just want to get it done.

I receive tax credits, but with him leaving nursery this year I assumed this would drop dramatically.

I will be claiming money of dad soon, he hasn’t payed towards anything for over a year, but it’s not something I can rely on as he keeps walking out of jobs unfortunately.

How often did yours attend after school clubs if you don’t mind me asking? I’m just worried it will be too much 3/4 days a week, I find out which school he will be in in 4 days, so I suppose I can do more research then to ease my mind!

Thank you for replying!

[Georgiemcgeorgeface]

Hiya. I've been a lone parent since my DC was born and he's almost a teenager now! I worked full time from when he was 4 years old and 30 hours before that. I've never had any financial help from his other parent. I used a childminder from when my DC was 6 months old and she did all the after school care. She was a godsend and I've relied heavily on her over the years not just for childcare but for advice too. It can be hard juggling everything and then there's the Mum guilt about leaving them but you've got to do what you've got to do. Our life is happy and it's all worked out. You can do it. Just don't lose yourself in it all, try and make sure you look after yourself too.

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

You sound like a supermum already! I am not in your situation, but can see it might be tricky.

Are there any childminders near you who do pickups? Sometimes it's easier than trying to get to school and it can be more relaxed for the child than long days at after school care.

I'd also try to make friends with other parents if you can at all - though this is easier said than done when working full time. If you make connections they can be backup if all falls through, not on a regular basis but at least occasionally.

Your big challenge is going to be school holidays. Even full day holiday camps are often shorter hours than school. Can your mum come back from abroad to do a week of childcare, or even just to do drop off and pick up from clubs for you? Can you buy more leave at work? Does your ex have parents who might want to be involved, or are they also not safe (or likely to allow him unsafe access?).

Also with study, have you spoken to your university about any grants available? There is sometimes financial support to help you finish.

[Whitechocandraspberry]

All of my children were in after school club until 6. Long day but needs must I’m afraid

[poppingoff]

Sorry, should have been clearer. I actually sent mine to a childminder during summer holidays, he adored her and she was an absolute angel for us. When he was primary 6, I had a falling out with the manager of the AS care, so he went to another childminder after school from then on (the summer childminder couldn't fit round her existing pick ups, etc). We had used that one briefly when he left nursery and I couldn't get the CM I wanted straight away. It really was years of juggling!

You just need to find people you trust and be really organised.

You can still claim tax credits for AS care/childminders when he starts school.

Good luck with it all.

[giggly]

Since being a lone parent I have dropped my standards for housework. I shop in my lunch break and do certain tasks on different nights to stay on top of everything. However the best advice I got from another lp was to declutter ruthlessly less stuff means less tidying.