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Son wants to live with dad - need advice(3 Posts)
I am Dad, my son (10yrs old) has told me and my partner that his mums boyfriend scares him and has been violent to him (lots more to this but don't want to go into detail). We have reported this to social and been told to keep him with us until things are resolved. I have tried to speak to his mum but she is not communicating with us. I am happy to keep my son and let her see him but not happy for him to go back to their house and he has said he doesn't want to see the boyfriend. However my partner and I live 200 miles away from them. To try and keep things normal for my son, my partner and I have gone and stayed at my parents house, so my son can go to school and about his life as normal as possible. However it obviously can't stay like this. At what point do I start the ball rolling in changing his school and moving him home with us and can his mum stop me? Again I have at no point said he can not see his mum. So far she has made the decision not to see him, I have offered it every day since this happened. I would be happy for him to see his mum going forward so I'm not asking for sole custody, I just want him to live with us but still see his mum. Any advice would be appreciated.
First of all, you are doing exactly what you should be. You have removed your child from an abusive home, and so long as your ex's partner is there, that's the way it has to stay. Perhaps your son staying with your permanently is the best possible decision. I would speak openly with your child about the need to move back to your home, and tell him that you know it will be a massive change for him, but you are always there to talk things through and listen. If you think he needs therapy, please don't hesitate to get it. It's a horrible shame about his useless mother. That's going to be very hard for him.
You're an excellent father, keep up the amazing job you're doing.
To try and keep things normal for my son, my partner and I have gone and stayed at my parents house, so my son can go to school and about his life as normal as possible.
I'm not sure if the legal process, but you sound like a brilliant parent. Comparing your actions to the fact his mum has chosen not to even see him proves exactly who your son should be with. Get your boy home with you and starting over ASAP. Good luck.
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