Baby Dad appreciation thread.

A friend of mine ex lives abroad. They have 2 DC together. Last week she flew over with her new husband and both kids. They stayed with ex. They put a video on FB of dad and stepdad laughing and joking. I think it's fantastic. What a great example they, and you, are setting your children.

Yes, I have a good relationship with my ex and he is a good father. DS adores him and loves spending time with him. Me and ex communicate well. We had an amicable divorce, we married too young and realised ultimately that we weren't in love any more.

His work takes him all over the country so he only has DS 2 or 3 nights a month. However he is well paid and gives me a good amount of maintenance. If I need any extra cash I just ask him and he is happy to give it to me.

He lives with his girlfriend who he has been with nearly 4 years and she is lovely. She is kind to DS and makes him feel welcome.

Ahh that's so nice 😁

I don't have any experience - but I think if there is zero chemistry thats a brilliant thing! No emotional craziness on either side - and you can just get on with being fab parents.

I think all this bodes very well.

i think it all sounds ok so far. i only have a negative story so dont want to ruin the positive vibe.

My friend discovered she was pregnant in similar circumstances but the dad was a total shit to her throughout the pregnancy, denying the baby was his, bad mouthing her etc. But a few months after baby arrived he stepped up, and takes his DC once a week and contributes more than the minimum maintenance to my friend. Unexpected but a lovely surprise, hopefully he will continue being a good dad.

Not my own experience but my DB is married to a woman who had a child at a young age with her then boyfriend. He initially treated her very badly and was also completely disibterested in the baby but my SIL and he are now on good terms and he's stepped up to the plate with regards to looking after his daughter. My DB and he also have a good relationship. All parties have put the needs of the child first (which is how it should be imho), and although there have been times of heartache along the way for my SIL and her daughter they have a good system worked out now.

Not the same sort of situation as you but a positive story nonetheless ...... I split with my partner after more than a decade when our kids were 7 and 5 and it was VERY acrimonious, quite emotionally abusive and it dragged on and on before he left .

We are now three and a half years down the line and have a really good relationship .... we attend all parents evenings, plays, sports days etc together, we talk regularly, he has a lovely girlfriend who loves my kids, she comes to my house with my ex, picks up the kids from my parents when they are minding them, my ex and I spend Christmas Day together with the kids and my family ...... but what I would say is it’s been hard work to get here at times and is not infrequently made possible by me letting things go and stuffing them into a box I like to label ‘reasons I’m no longer with my ex’ lol . As another poster said it’s also, crucially, been built on zero desire to get back with him

It is possible to co-parent in this way and I do think it’s much better for the kids to live In this extended parenting group where they don’t have to choose sides or feel that my ex and I aren’t a ‘team’.

Good luck OP, it does sound like you have a good baby daddy

I split with my DSs dad during pregnancy. I asked him to leave as he was lying about money. Id been there before with my ex husband and didnt want to go down that road. Anyway there was the usual post break up nonsense nothing major so i limited contact with him. When DS arrived this april he embraced the role of daddy and his family have been great. We got back together after he came clean re finances (so i thought) but a couple of months ago I ended the relationship again due to lies and other issues. Despite all this we have a good routine with DS who is adored by him and his whole family. We are amicable and i still see his family there is no bad blood. However if i were to tell you about my exhusband thats a totally different story and would require a feature length jeremy kyle episode to do justice. I hope everything works out. All the positives are there for you and your child