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Court order went in his favor and he's still not happy :((4 Posts)
He got what he wanted in court....he used court to abuse and gaslight me further, he told so many lies, CAFCASS didn't put any weight behind what me or DD said...they just got taken in by his charm+fake victim mode.
Now he has got what he wanted I thought he'd just leave me alone and get on with being a Dad to DD and enjoy his life & work. Seems he's stopped working so he can make shared care work, trying to pick at me so he has a reason to berate me again, using Contact Book to be hostile and threatening again - saying there will be consequences for me not respecting his wishes as DD's father (no idea what I have done exactly but I have an idea of what he's referring to - he's got the wrong end of the stick/assumed) and I can't deal with him.. it's too traumatic, stressful and I feel I'll never be left in peace to just enjoy my time with DD and enjoy my life in peace. Even though I've told him not to come to my house, he as ignored that and has done stuff like come and post the contact book through my door, sat outside my Mum's house in his car etc. Asked me for my new address and when I didn't reply within 2 hours he texted both my parents separately to ask for the information and he's done this before when I didn't want to tell him personal medical information and he has been very intrusive.
I don't think he's mentally stable but I have no proof solidly as he has never gone to GP and the court didn't believe me they just said there is no proof except my experience which they didn't listen to.
He has also said horrible things about me to DD but they ignored this in court as did CAFCASS.
I don't know how to move forward, I feel he has succeeded in trapping me/pressuring me/getting on a hold on me with the court process and now still he carries on making this about ME and not about DD.
All I am trying to do is be positive and encouraging about him and about the contact, always hoping for the best, for DD, because even though the court outcome wasn't what I thought was best for DD, I have come to acceptance about it and trying to move forward. But he seems to not be happy and still trying to cause drama and control/power games.
What should I do ? Opinions / advice welcome. Thanks in advance
Forgot to say the consequences he threatened is that he'll reduce child maintenance (and given the figure he quoted he is not declaring about 20k income or he has stopped working altogether.... which I don't think he has, he must still work part time at least... )
Can you not claim child maintenance thro CSA? That way it takes the power away from him for that.
The rest your going to have to weather.
However if he start harassing and texting you loads and pursues your parents I think you need to log it with the police and ask to speak to their domestic violence team as he is mentally abusing you and stalking you.
Claim via CSA.
Phone Victim Support. Tell them everything, they'll advise and support you.
Contact the Police and let them know what's going on.
If he's sitting outside your parent's house they can discreetly film him doing so. He shouldn't be there.
There are organisations out there who will listen and help you to move forward. You can't do this alone - this fucker wants to drive you mad and spoil your life. Don't let him.
Make those phone calls
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