Hi,
Having some issues with my ex and wanted people's advice/opinions. I'll give the back story, so it's easier to understand my situation.
I split with my ex over 6 years ago, due to his bullying behaviour and the fact that he was having an affair.
We have 2 children together.
Over the years he's seen them on average 4 or 5 times a year, on his terms. There has been some emotional abuse of the children and a few episodes of physical abuse of my son, whilst in his care.
He refuses to speak to me, so communication is via text.
After not seeing them for 9 months, I get a text from him (end of April), asking to have them on a specific date in August. I told him we'd be on holiday on that date (this is true), so he sent me an abusive text saying he was going to "put his foot down".
A few weeks ago he invited the children out for lunch. My daughter (9) refused to go as she is frightened of him. My son (11 with SEN) went out for a few hours with him.
My son comes home announcing his Dad is getting married and he is going to be best man! The date is when we're on holiday (the date he'd asked to have them in August)
Obviously I'm pretty annoyed that he'd invited my son, knowing we'd be away. Also my son does not have the emotional maturity to understand what being best man entails. His dad has buttered him up saying he'll buy him a suit and that Best Man is an important job. I'm also pretty peeved that my ex hasn't even discussed it with me. I also find it odd that my kids have never even met his fiance, so would be meeting her at the wedding!
I have explained again to my ex that we will be on holiday, so they can't come. He ignored my text and called my son saying he'd pick him up from our holiday the day before the wedding (It's a 6 hour drive). Again no discussion with me about this. This would mean my ex would have to care for my son (who has ADHD and autism) for 3 nights until I get back from my holiday. He has only ever stayed with him for 4 seperate nights in his whole life. My ex's response to my son having a meltdown is to shout at him and hit him. Obviously I would not be happy allowing my son to stay there, so I texted him again, saying my son will not be going to the wedding and explaining why.
My ex completely ignored my message and called my son saying he is taking him to buy a suit. I have told my son he can't go to the wedding and this is obviously confusing him.
I have messaged my ex asking him to communicate via me, not my son, as it's upsetting him.
So last week I received court papers through the door. He is taking me to court to try to get the judge to allow the kids at his wedding. He's also saying that I refuse to let him see the kids (which is not true).
I can't see that a judge will force me to cut my son's holiday short and make him stay somewhere where he's not safe? There is no way my daughter will go, she is petrified of him.
I'm really worryied,as he is very manipulative and I'm concerned he'll make out it's all me.
I'm waiting for CAFCASS to call me, so I'm hoping I can get my views across and they'll believe me.
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Ex taking me to court for child arrangements order. Advice needed
18 replies
Ariel03 · 31/07/2018 13:14
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