My DC’s have a double barrelled surname. When we were married ex and I also double barrelled but have both now reverted back to just our original surnames.
I have a lot of regret over the DC’s surnames. It’s unwieldy, long and a pain to spell it all out and point out it’s hyphenated! I also hate the fact that the name they got from their dad is actually from his stepdad (ex had his name changed as a child when his mum married stepdad). The stepdad and that side of family have been utterly vile to me throughout the whole split and subsequent divorce and it bothers me enormously my children carry this name. If they had my ex’s original surname I wouldn’t have this issue as we are very civil with one another and I encourage him to have a relationship with the DCs
Sorry, massively long winded but felt it was important to give background! Anyway...I know I can’t change DC’s name legally without consent from their dad. However I have heard that when they are registered for school they can be ‘known as’ a different surname.
How would this work in reality? What would require their full name eg would they have to have their full surname on exercise books? School reports? I’m guessing they would for external exams such as SATs but what else?
I’m just trying to work out if it’s worth doing as the DCs are getting to an age where school, playgroup, pre school etc registration is looming.
Their dad isn’t happy with his stepdad’s behaviour but keeps trying to reconcile (whole other thread 🙄). He keeps muttering about going back to his childhood surname but never gets around to it. I don’t think he’d agree to a legal name change at this stage for the DCs but to be honest I’m not sure he’d ever be on the ball or involved in the day to day upbringing enough to notice they only have one surname at school! It’s probably really petty of me but I really really hate that the stepdad and his family is honoured in any way after their despicable behaviour (as an example when I was in hospital I had to ensure the nurses were aware that he wasn’t to be let in the ward and his picture circulated as he had threatened to ‘come find me where I couldn’t get away and tell me to my face what he thought of me.’ His stepson was the one who left me!)
Thanks for bearing with and apologies if it seems I’m making a big deal out of nothing but it is becoming increasingly important to me
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Any advise on 'known by' name for school etc?
6 replies
MollyBloomYes · 08/10/2017 02:23
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