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I'm in a bit of a mess

(2 Posts)
Coffeegirl123 Thu 08-Jun-17 14:03:21

Long story short - I married a fraudster(obviously I didn't realise ) and I sponsored him to the UK from India. We have a 5 month baby. I have concrete evidence to suggest that Husband had played fraud with me for visa purposes and has used deception to marry me.

Things were amazing and rosy at the beginning. My husband already has a brother and sister who are resident in the UK. I come from a Indian family where the old culture is still prevalent. My father was a very controlling, narcissistic and abusive person. I have no brothers, and my mother was always abused by my father and his extended family in India. We were not even allowed to breathe without our father’s permission. My mother was always pressurized into getting the girls married to my dad's nephew…this is quite typical and happens in a lot of indian families. The pressure got so much that I agreed to get married to my cousin. We spoke and he seemed decent enough, we fell in love, and I thought finally things might get better.”

During this time my dad's violence got so bad that all the commotion made the police come and we ended up separating from him. Things started looking up with restricted contact with my Dad, I got a job, started studying and my career became promising. My fiancé was doing his 'I love you' act very well and I went and got married. I came back and to fulfil visa requirements, I worked 3 jobs and worked damn hard and managed to get his visa within two days of applying , which was somewhat of a miracle!

I paid for all his fees and flight tickets and everything myself. My financial support also ranged to his family even though they had a well-established business. During this time our relationship with our father got better and better and soon my husband entered the country.

From day one, he has been ignoring me, beating me up, using my finances along with much more inhumane things. Basically ever since the day he has landed in the UK, he has been messing me around.

I fell for him because he didn't abuse or control me like my father did to my mother, however what he did after arriving in the UK was much worse than my father has ever done. I supported him so much and soon fell pregnant and almost died during my pregnancy. My husband used all of this to his advantage. He left me many times and kept coming back.

My husband also hid the fact from me that his brother who resides in the UK was a convicted sexual offender. Once my child was born, he tried to force me to move in with him, which I of course refused. Both have use of an immigration specialist who helps them stay in the UK using hidden immoral loopholes. I managed to get recorded evidence from him saying that he was only with me until baby is born because then he can use her to get leave. He had no intention of staying with me genuinely.

Fast forward to a year later. He left me for good when my daughter was 1.5 months. This was before a final assault on me. Then stole my belongings and went to live with his sister. He is now trying all routes possible to get a visa based on using his daughter. This is what he has told me indirectly through the means of our extended family.

But my daughter is now 5 months and he has not heard spoken or seen her. Neither has he made any intentions to do so. I know he will probably make contact when his visa is due for renewal because at the moment he still has 1.5years left.

After finding out his brothers history, he also married a girl here and had a son and then sexually abused her nephew. He was sentenced and obviously served time. Then he got let out and family courts refused contact for him many times with his son. He is now about to complete 10 years in the UK and has been detained many times and then given discretionary leave to remain whilst he pursued in his contact order. He has put himself and his ex wife in a legal battle for over 10 years.
I understand my husband will also be using the same route, if not similar to engage me in legal battles just so that he can stay in the country.

The fact that I haven't received court papers shows the calm before the storm. I am so scared that my Husband will take away my daughter. He isn't a sexual offender so as such has a clear record with the police so won't have too much problem convincing the courts to allow contact.

The main reason why he broke the marriage was obviously because he now had the ticket(daughter) to country and also because I refused to move in or near the sexual offender. I haven't applied for custody yet myself because I fear the courts may give him custody and what if my daughter is taken away? I'm so depressed and stressed with the waiting.

The home office are useless. They haven't curtailed his leave even though they can and my husband is getting high on his horse because of his brothers immigration history.

OP’s posts: |
Starlight2345 Thu 08-Jun-17 19:30:13

I would suggest you post in legal.

You sounds a really strong person in a really tough situation and need more expert advice.

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