Marriage collapse and income support denial

[LaceyL]

I'm in dire need of some advice. I recently found out that my husband has cheated on me for the second time, and at the end of March we split as a couple.

We are currently living in his mother's house, rent free, with our children (6, 2, 1) and his grandmother. I'm basically an unpaid carer for his grandmother who has dementia. We live 15 miles from the closest town, with three return buses a week, and I don't drive.

Since the split, I've applied and been granted maximum tax credits. I also applied for income support, and this claim has been denied as we live in the same household still and they view us as still living like a couple. I pay for everything for myself and the children, we eat and sleep separately but I do the household cleaning as I've no choice than to be home all day.

I've contacted the local council, who are willing to put me on the housing list at a higher band as long as I'm on income support. I've also talked to an estate agent who can help me privately rent with the same requirement. My family live over 100 miles away, and I've been estranged from them for over 15 years so moving in there is not an option.

I've been told I can challenge the income support decision within 30 days, but I have no idea what to say to them. I don't want to cheat the system, and I don't need the money at the moment, just literally a letter saying that I'd be valid to claim if I moved out.

I've been told to get "thrown out" and declare myself homeless at the council office. My mother in law is never going to write a letter saying I can't live there, as she needs me so she doesn't have to employ a carer. She also keeps telling me to "get over myself", and take my husband back. It also feels like cheating the system, and I just wanted to do this the proper way.

I'm sorry for the long post, but I feel completely stuck and isolated. I'm dreading the phone call.

[ems137]

I think you really need to get out of that house and do everything you can to move.

Call income support and explain that you have separated from your husband but don't have any access to money so that you can move out.