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Dating question - what would YOU do? Please advise!

10 replies

weekendgirl · 17/02/2007 01:32

Hi have changed my name for this, but it really is a genuine question.
Started e-mailing a guy via a (reputable) dating site at New Year. He seemed very nice and genuine and asked me out for a lunch time coffee soon after. (Yes, I know, it's coffee, not exactly a hot date!) He has quite a busy job and I have alot going on too so the earliest we arranged coffee for is this coming Wednesday. However, the last time he e-mailed was over a fortnight ago. I replied to that but have not e-mailed him again as I just got the impression that it was me doing all the running although when he does send anything it's very polite and friendly. When I accepted the coffee date I said I'd let him choose the venue but have heard nothing. My best friend I've been out with tonight (hence late posting!) said I MUST get in contact with him and remind him about Wednesday. I think not, if he's interested he will contact me and I do have some pride... Am I right or not? Any advice gratefully received. TIA (Can you tell I am a complete novice with these things, the last person to ask me out was my ex when I was 17, and that was 20 years ago!! )

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Caligula · 17/02/2007 01:43

I think I agree with you. If he's interested, he'll get in touch and if he's too lazy to, he's not worth meeting up with.

OTOH, could an e-mail have gone astray? It does happen...

But then, he could still get in touch anyway.

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Stiller · 17/02/2007 01:53

Aww... Totally empathise with not knowing how to play the dating game anymore. I'm in the same boat.

I'd leave it if I was sober because you mailed him ages ago about the venue and haven't heard back. If I'd had a few I might email him again asking where he wanted to meet. I'm a total wuss about these things though and I'd still be living at home with my mum if Vodka wasn't available. Contact him, you've nothing to lose. If he doesn't reply you can put it down to him being an idiot.

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airy · 17/02/2007 01:58

I think I'd send a casual email bringing it up but not making anything much of it iykwim.
and then leave it all in his hands. It is true that your last mail could have gone astray, he might be sat there thinking you never got back to say you'd go out with him and so not contacting you

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snowwonder · 17/02/2007 10:10

yeah go for it email again casually!!!!!

you only live once take a chance!!!!-

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NotQuiteCockney · 17/02/2007 10:12

It depends. Do you really like him? If so, yeah, I'd email him again to ask - it is possible for email to disappear (spam filters etc etc). If you are more neutral, don't bother.

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crispyduck · 17/02/2007 10:14

IMHO I would not email him, If he was interested he would of been in touch by now, sorry not much help.

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queenoftarts · 17/02/2007 11:34

Message deleted

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weekendgirl · 17/02/2007 21:23

Hi, sorry have been out all day, only just logged in. Thanks everyone for your replies - I'm still not 100% sure what I'll do (I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure...) but I think in all honesty I'll let it go. Call me unrealistic but I'm after a relationship where I'm the one being pursued . If I'm left hanging around for an answer before the first coffee date, then prob not best to proceed!!

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snowwonder · 18/02/2007 17:35

yeah you are right, you need to feel that they really want you other wise it is no good, let us know how you get on?

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weekendgirl · 22/02/2007 22:48

Hi, just thought I would let you know that I didn't bother to make contact again and surprise, surprise, there was nothing forthcoming from him, so it was obviously the right thing to do to let it go! Thanks for your advice, think I may have weakened and contacted him otherwise but now really glad I didn't.