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Completely lost

(5 Posts)
Avpixie27 Wed 23-Nov-16 16:19:42

So ive been a single mum for a month now. Found out my ex is all over tinder having girls every night. I know deep down im not ready for a relationship but i cant help feeling lonely. I only have 1 friend and she is away atm. Has anyone found love after having a baby? Does anyone want to be a friend?

Tiredbutnotyetretired Wed 23-Nov-16 23:26:55

I feel the same very lonely but i'd rather wait a long time to find someone who is suitable for me and dc if that's what its going to take. Do u not have any interests that you can do at home? I like to read or i listen to youtube whilst i do my ironing. I know it sounds boring but im investing in myself and learning to embrace being alone.
You cant fight against circumstance you have to go with the flow life is taking you. Never mind about the ex, the more you know about him the less likely you are to make progress and move forward with your life. He could be having meaningless interactions with many whilst you are working on yourself and who comes off better in the long run?.
Of course you will find love again. Have faith in yourself and embrace life as it is right now, its these peaceful (rediculously quiet) times that we will whistfully look back on when there is the next life challenge we face, which next time could feel 100x worse, so utilize this time to work on who you are and what you need and want, gaining inner strength and insight along the way, to be ready to face life whatever your circumstances are x

rococo80 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:11:09

I was left alone with a 6 year old after finally getting rid of my abusive alcoholic ex. My friend convinced me to join Plenty of fish and after a bottle of wine I went on, I was petrified of meeting a peado so didn't mention my daughter at all. I got a few weirdo messages but one message stuck in my mind, I started messaging him and became friends on Facebook, my best friend trawled through his FB with a fine tooth comb and everything he told me added up to his FB posts

rococo80 Thu 24-Nov-16 00:14:39

Sorry hadn't finished!!!

We agreed to meet and my friend took pics of his number plate when he came to pick me up on a date. 6 years later we are still together living with my dd and his ds in a happy but crazy blended family, no horrible dates, love at first sight, there is hope out there, we texted for 2 weeks before the initial meet up and I really feel like I knew him before we met.

user1473756940 Thu 24-Nov-16 10:15:48

I agree with Tirednotyettired its important to learn to love yourself and embrace being alone for a time. When you start to appreciate your own company and time to yourself you do feel less lonely.

And don't rush into anything, a month is no time at all, invest some time in yourself, when kids are in bed have a long bath and paint your nails whilst watching netflix. Put some tunes on and tidy up. Start cracking on those books you've been meaning to read, start a hobby, study whatever you want because its down to you.

Doing all that and looking after yourself will help you, when you are ready, be prepared for the relationship you deserve smile

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