Just wondering as me and the ex have just had an argument and he's called me selfish and a ' bad mum'
Bit of background, have 2 dcs, eldest one is autistic. Been split up for 2.5 years. We were together for 7 but he cheated, lied etc constantly. When we split up he buggered off to live at the other side of the country. Now he sees the kids every other weekend however this time of year he's cut it down to every other Sunday due to work commitments. He picks them up at about 10, drops them off at 4 and that's it for 2 weeks.
Tbf he's always been pretty good at paying Maintanence. It's always a couple of days late and I have to remind him at least twice that it's due but he always pays it.
Now I do live in quite an expensive part of the country, my rent is very high. BUT as I mentioned avoided, ds is autistic and our house is ideal for him, situated next to the school - which is a good school for him. I have problems every morning getting him to school and I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to live anywhere else and have to get him to school every morning. Exdp has no clue about any of this as he's not involved in ds special needs what so ever.
Anyway kids have recently started new hobbies. Daughter is dancing and son is swimming. Obviously this costs - especially the dancing as she needs the shoes, leotard too etc. I'm struggling for money at the min with Christmas, school have announced 4 school trips that I've paid for, daughters school dinners have gone up so paid for that. Lots of other things to do with the kids too which I worked out I've paid £200 just about this month. Ds LOVES swimming which I'm so happy about, he's getting one to one lessons which so great too. I paid for his lessons which were £60 up until Feb.
Now ds had her first dancing class tonight and loved that too. Rang the ex to see if he could contribute a bit towards it only to get told 'no chance, I pay you enough' he then started going on about how much petrol costs him every other weekend to come here - £80 apparently and maybe I should think about that too. I need to stop being so selfish. I need to move to a cheaper area if I can't afford things. 'Yep I'll just move my ds with special needs out of school, where he's just begging to settle to a brand new area, school where he will probably have the biggest meltdowns, change his life dramatically for the worst and cause his anxiety to go absolutely mental you selfish twat'
Not that this really matters but he's 32 years old, still lives with this mum and dad, pays £40 a week rent to them and earns £3000 a month. He's always bragging about the lifestyle he has. Meanwhile I'm struggling on my own with the kids, especially my ds, never do anything for myself. Can't even afford to get my hair cut. Plus he's having them less time so he can work more and 'earn shit loads of money' but he can't give me an extra £40 maybe for his daughters dance classes? It wouldn't even be that, I could probably afford to pay half of it just.
He thinks the maintenance he gives me - which is £50 per child a week- should cover everything and I shouldn't need to ask for anymore.
So my question is, is he right? Am I being selfish and expecting so much?
He's just rang again now about something else quickly before he goes out for a meal....as I'm here struggling to get my son in the bath because he hates water...not had my tea yet and probably won't bother as I'm that tired I'm just gonna go to bed.
The fact that he isn't really involved in his kids life doesn't usually bother me. I'm their mum, it's us 3 and I absolutely love it even though it is very hard. But when I ask for a little bit of extra help and I get told no.....that's when I start to get all 'I do everything and you do nothing' sort of thing x
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What does your child maintenance go on?
17 replies
confused114 · 16/11/2016 18:17
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