dumped and pregnant(5 Posts)
HI, I am 37, I have a lovely child from my 1st marriage. For the last 5 months I have been living with by ex. I thought we were happy. I fell pregnant accidentally. He campaigned for me to abort. I just couldnt. Not only has he left hes been so horrible too.
I am devastated. Last week we were together and he said he loves me. Now he is back with his mum and dad. I think he has always struggled with commitment even though he slept here each night, he lived out of a rucksack. Never helped with bills and would not be a resident.
I fell pregnant with his child when we first met also, he convinced me to abort I wanted to keep him so I did. It was the worst mistake of my life. But now I feel so incredibly alone and like I will never find anyone. I hate waking up on my own, not hugging on the sofa and even making his tea. I know I sound pathetic.
BTW appreciate getting pregnant twice is sloppy. We were using condoms as I cant use pill. I did want another child one day, but not like this.
I guess I am just positing for support because I am sad and lonely.
Just remember you are in shock this is very early days and you will also have added hormones .
You have done it with one child alone you can do it with two... It is simply about juggling your balls...
Do you have much 3D support around? Get all you can..How old is your child..Children can be a great distraction.
Ok, so let's see. He:
- Slept over but wouldn't commit to living with you FT- I presume this means he also failed to do his share of the chores, cooking, etc?
- Wouldn't pay contribute to any bills.
- Talked you into ending your first pregnancy with him.
- Despite seeing how gutted you were about the first termination, tried to pressure you into another one.
- When you won't "do as you're told" he leaves you, the child you already have and for whom he's presumably been acting as a quasi parent, and the one you're carrying.
- Runs back to his Ma's.
Darling, he's a twat, dead wood who treated you as a hotel he could pay for in the form of (probably average) shags. You're better off without him. I'm not saying this to placate you, I'm saying it because Stevie Wonder could see on a dark night that this fella is not going to be good for you, either of your children, or anyone else who might think it would be a good idea to rely on him. People like this only stay for as long as it's convienient for them- don't give up on having a wanted child to keep him happy and with you for a bit longer.
It hurts, I know it does. You feel lonely & like it'll be forever.
When it happened to me, I also felt that no one would ever love me again. That people would judge me. That they'd believe his side of the story.
It doesn't matter. You will find someone in time. Not someone who lives out of a rucksack & has the ability to hurt you this much when you are pregnant with his child. Not someone who runs back to his parents when things get tough.
You're going to have a beautiful little baby to care for, & a brother or sister for your first child. You're going to realise how strong you are. There are going to be hard days where he's even more of a twat but that's going to mean nothing when you hold that baby & become a family of three, with you holding it all together, not needing some lame arsed man child throwing tantrums.
You do what you truly want to do.
Thank you a few days later and I have chatted with my friends and family and pulled myself together. Had midwife today and Im really excited. My little boy who is 7 is so excited.
It sums twat up that he refused to give me medical background but hey ho.
I'll have highs and lows, but in the end hes done me a favour. The only thing i truly regret is the termination I had when we first met. Im sorry for that and it has affected me but also made me more determined not to give in and be a good mummy to both my children.
I really appreciate your support. Kindness of stranger is a wonderful thing.
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