No one to look after baby when eldest is in hospital

[lyssie29]

Hi don't know if this is the right section. My 3 year old is due to have an operation soon and will have to stay in hospital overnight but I have a younger daughter and no babysitter for her. Would the hospital let her stay with me? My partner passed away and there's no one to look after her.

[megletthesecond]

I don't know. Personally I would hope that in your situation they could be flexible and allow your 4yr old to stay too. It's going to be on a children's ward so there will be things for her to do as long as she's sensible.

[cestlavielife]

Ask the childrens ward but it might not be possible
You can probably leave older child in hospital he will be looked after
You can ask local council for childminders who do overnight care
Ask a friend
Ask social services to a arrange a foster carer - the children's ward will tell you who to contact there will be a social worker linked to the hospital

I am sorry for your loss .. longer term it is important you build network of paid help eg regular babysitter or childminder you can call on.

[cestlavielife]

The issue if staying is that if your ds needs you eg to help to toiket of if he is sick who will take care of dd? The playroom will close and there may not be bed for her. So you may need to choose to leave ds in hands of nurses

Where will dd be in the day while the op happens ?

[cestlavielife]

You can also get overnight nanny who can stay in your home with dd .
If cost is an issue speak to social services but ask family and friends first.
If it is few weeks away you have time to get dd used to a nanny or childminder or babysitter

[lyssie29]

They said because my daughter is only 3 I will need to stay with her. My youngest is only 7 months and I can't afford childcare especially overnight as it's expensive and because of the situation I've had to leave my job. I don't have any friends who would be comfortable taking a baby overnight as none of them have children. I have got in touch with the hospital and they have said they don't normally allow it but in my situation they could make an exception. So hopefully they will allow it. Fingers crossed.

[megletthesecond]

Another thought. Does your older dd attend nursery or pre-school yet? You could speak to them and see if anyone could at least keep an eye on your youngest for a half day or so. I used nursery staff as a mothers help when I recovered from an op.

[cestlavielife]

if 7 months and not moving around too much should be ok...

do think about arranging g a regular babysitter/ childcarer etc though such as someone from nursery as you will need to call on people in the future for one child or the other. it is inevitable...
you cant do it all alone.
you need back up.
better there is someone they already used to than being sent to foster carers...

[JoMalones]

My 7mo was allowed to stay when my 2yr old was in hospital for one night. He was in a pram so didn't need a bed as was lying flat. He was breastfed though so not an option for me to stay without him

[MunchCrunch01]

I agree op, if your dd has nursery, ask them if they can put up a notice - I'd help you out in a shot if I saw this notice at dd's nursery from another parent, you might not but someone may offer and if dd knows their child it'll help her not be too anxious - good luck, sounds horribly hard