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Absent dad, 26wks PG, Birth Cert, child support etc.

(2 Posts)
catpower80 Tue 17-May-16 12:08:51

Hi,
I'm re-posting this from a different board after being advised by another user.
I'm 35y/o and about to have my first baby, a son, in August. Dad was a friend for 8 years and late last summer we started seeing each other romantically. It was December when I found out I was PG.
He has a son, about 20 months old who he is pretty good with (despite some worrying stories involving his love of white powder when little one was a baby). When we found out he said he didn't want another child with someone he wasn't with (i.e. if we're together, it can be some lovely fairytale or nothing). This got me thinking I would always be the one compromising so he wouldn't leave me - NOT in my DNA I'm afraid. I won't put up with just because I want you to stay. Stay if you want, there's the door if not.
This undermined all of my feelings for him. I didn't and don't want to be with someone who conditionally loves their child (or me). Plus, how would I deal with things falling apart later when I was heavily PG or had just had the baby? This made me realise I couldn't be with him.
Since then, he contacted me a few times, said lots of lovely things about 'being together' but nothing about being there if it didn't work out. This was January. I said if he couldn't commit to being there for little one no matter what, he should not be involved at all. Now he's not. I haven't heard from him since mid-Jan.
My question is; what do I do now? Continue on without his involvement? Contact him to check one last time? Ask him about being on the birth certificate? What about child support? This is all very new to me so any advice would be great.
As far as I can see on Twitter and FB, he's enjoying the life of riley, out up town drinking and doing god-knows-what-else so clearly he's not bothered. I don't think even his friends or family know he has another baby on the way....

Update 17/05 - According to his twitter page, it looks like he's been having so much fun going out clubbing and drinking and chatting up random girls, that he's gone and lost his job......

I don't understand how he can behave this way - he already has a son and now has another one on the way. It's like he's pretending all of this isn't happening?!

starry0ne Tue 17-May-16 21:44:30

Personally giving birth is at a time you are most vulnerable. I would want someone there who can support me. I would inform him when baby is born . see where it goes from there. You are entitled to maintenance you can go through Cms. Good luck

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