Advanced search

Trial Separation - Benefits

(8 Posts)
samp75 Sat 05-Mar-16 00:45:13

I live with my wife and 2 kids in UK. I am thinking of going back to my home country for couple of years as I am currently quite stressed because of situation at home (disabled child) and work. If things get better then I might come back. Will my wife be eligible for the benefits (we have ILR and eligible for citizenship) to survive on her own? She is not working and we don't have much savings. I won't be able to send her money from abroad as it will be too less because of exchange rate.

OP’s posts: |
bloodyteenagers Sat 05-Mar-16 00:51:19

I cannot get past the fact that you are contemplating leaving your children and your wife to cope on her own.
This is all about you. What abut those kids? You brought them into the world, and you have a responsibility to them. You cannot just ship off elsewhere because things are stressful.

If things aren't good, and the relationship has ended, then indeed move out. But not to another country on the off chance that you might one day, in a few years time, be arsed to be a decent person and a parent.

I know that's not what you asked. But I cannot give advice to help someone facilitate abandoning their children.

VimFuego101 Sat 05-Mar-16 00:53:50

I bet your wife is 'quite stressed' too. I suggest you think back to your marriage vows and consider how you can support her.

meatliqour Sat 05-Mar-16 00:54:32

Can't fathom this either. How lovely to just "ship off" when the going gets tough for a few years.

Your poor wife and children

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sat 05-Mar-16 01:53:36

Things probably will get better once your wife doesn't have a selfish arse to take care of as well as her DCs. She will be eligible for some tax credits etc if she is able to find part time work and various other allowances if she isn't in a position to work, so she will manage financially.

I would imagine that if you have so little commitment to your DCs that you would happily move to another country, you probably don't contribute much to family life, so she will cope on a practical level too.

She may even move on and meet someone who will step into the space you leave and provide those DCs with a loving father figure in time.

However, even if she doesn't meet someone new, don't bank on her wanting you back. After a couple of years you will be a stranger to your DCs and your lack of commitment to them speaks volumes about your character generally. Not exactly dream partner material.

Hope your DW is on here too so that she gets the support she will need once you bugger off.

jeremyisahunt Sat 05-Mar-16 02:01:05

Op, under those circumstances you can't leave your wife.

Sure, you can split up, but you need to be around to help with the kids, both physically and financially.

You should visit the disabled board on here. You will meet other parents in the same position who can give you more tailored advice.

How old are your dcs?

shartsi Sat 05-Mar-16 07:22:43

The exchange rate should not be the reason you can't send her money from abroad. You must send money for your children.

starry0ne Sat 05-Mar-16 14:15:20

Things get better for disable child?

So you would like your wife to sort it( what ever that is) and then return???

I think there might not be a place for you to return to..

and yes you do need to support her...

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in