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Think I'm doing too much logisitics for exh

(5 Posts)
MrsClusterfuck Thu 05-Nov-15 13:34:50

So we're still in early stages and finding a status quo - not helped by him playing mind games. He's quite happy to play at being Disney Dad to DC and where he might be seen but has no interest in actually doing any of the logistic side of things, I've always done that.

Case in point is school. We both get the email newsletters etc but when he didn't know about an event he blamed me. Turns out he doesn't get the newsletters (despite my giving school his email address) but he won't chase this with them so unless I do it this won't be done.

After school club is another problem. We pay separately (which they struggle with as they can only produce one invoice) but when it comes to holiday club I have to remind him to let them know if he wants to put DC in.

End of school term is another. The last day of school before xmas is one of his days this year but school closes at 1pm so he'll either have to take time off work or put DC in holiday club but it gets booked up so quickly he won't be able to if he doesn't do it now. Unless I point this out to him he won't even notice.

I know I need to let go and let him make his own mistakes but it impacts on DC and I'm already seeing the effects of his disorganisation causing stress to DC. If I was to take over school duties entirely it would impact on my job and would mean him collecting from me more regularly than now (and I really don't want to see him).

Any thoughts from more experienced LPs please? thanks

GingerIvy Thu 05-Nov-15 15:32:17

Sorry, no advice as my ex is Mr Irresponsible. My sympathies though.

Bellemere Thu 05-Nov-15 15:37:01

I think you do need to start leaving it. Tell him what you've said here and say that you won't be doing it anymore as it isn't your responsibility.

PurpleWithRed Thu 05-Nov-15 15:39:55

Sadly my experience as a divorced mum was a lot of least-worst decisions and doing things that helped him in order to protect the kids. You do need to draw the line somewhere, but you need to pick your battles carefully. But you are already finding that out the hard way.

MrsClusterfuck Thu 05-Nov-15 15:57:04

It really is knowing where to draw the line. Protecting DC but then he gets to look like a really fab Dad to them and to everyone else when he behaves like this to me behind the scenes. It's really tough and makes it harder for me to draw the boundaries with him.

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