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First Christmas as a LP

(7 Posts)
YesNoMaybeSo1234 Fri 16-Oct-15 20:15:49

Sorry this has probably been done to death but I'm just after some advice and to hear experiences.

This will be my first Christmas separated from my DD's Father. She is 2 years old.

Just after some suggestions/ideas how to split the time? We are amicable and can hold a civil conversation. We are yet to discuss Christmas arrangements, he will more than likely be working Christmas Eve until 5ish and Boxing Day falls on his weekend with DD anyway. So the days either side will probably fall into place anyway.

How do you manage Christmas Day? I'm imagining he will want to be around for Christmas morning. Which I suppose won't be too bad as neither of us have DPs at the moment. Or do we start as we mean to go on and split the day?

Any ideas welcome!

YesNoMaybeSo1234 Sat 17-Oct-15 08:26:11

Anyone?!

TensionWheelsCoolHeels Sat 17-Oct-15 09:46:32

My ex came over xmas eve 1st year we split, stayed over (slept on couch) & was there for DD opening her gifts. 2nd year he chose not to stay & we've done different arrangements since then too - I've stayed over at his once on xmas eve etc. Mostly DD stays with me on xmas eve & sees her dad xmas night or Boxing Day - I've offered for her to stay xmas eve/xmas morning but he thinks DD better to stay with me as I do make a big thing of xmas.

If you get on OK, and you are comfortable with him being there in the morning ( or even xmas eve too) then do it. It'll be nice for you both to see your DD excited xmas eve/morning & nice for your DD too. I think it will likely change as you both move on & find new partners but no reason IMO to not share it now if you can.

starlight2007 Sat 17-Oct-15 12:41:40

I think you need to work out what will work for both of you.. Common splits are split half the day or one home one year and the other the next..

Some people do have partners in there house for the day part of the day..

I think the thing to remember is that Christmas is about the children..

Contact isn't cemented in stone unless court ordered ..Ex may want time at his home if not this year another year.

Pocketrocket31 Sat 24-Oct-15 01:35:09

I think with your Dc being only 2 start as you mean to go on, I mean youre alright him staying on Xmas eve till she's 5, then some1 remarries?? She'll no what she missing, if he's a good dad id go with alternate years

MarkRuffaloCrumble Sat 24-Oct-15 02:12:37

My Ex comes here xmas morning. Some years the DCs stay with him xmas eve which means I can get the prezzies down without having to wait until they are asleep and he has to sort the stockings! Then they all rock up here about 7.00am so I get an extra hour or two of sleep compared to the 5-6am start when they are here. We all have brekky together and open presents, then I meet up with my DP and his kids later in the day (they do the same, have his ex round theirs on Xmas day).

It works pretty well for the DCs having their parents together if you can manage it for a day. Dp and I do gifts the day before or we sometimes have a fake Xmas the weekend before with all our DCs so it spreads out the fun a bit for them too.

I usually say "think of Christmas as a season, not just a day" so you don't put pressure on the 25th being the only day everyone can see each other. If you get half the day or Boxing Day or another day altogether to celebrate, it can still be special.

DressingGown Wed 28-Oct-15 03:39:49

This year XP will stay Christmas Eve and morning at mine, then he's heading off to his family and me and Dd will have my family over for lunch. XP and his family will get Dd from lunch on Boxing Day. This way both parents get dd for Christmas Eve and stocking-opening, and both sets of grandparents get to see her too.

It's taken some level of negotiation though!

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