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I need some support

8 replies

GEM33 · 03/03/2015 21:49

Also, I'm still finding this all really hard. It's been 13 months since he left me for this younger girl and I still hate sending my dd to them. It still hurts me when dd talks about the ow.
It still fills me with dread having to see or speak to my ex. I still feel bitter and angry at him. I want to feel free from these feelings and move on but he still feels like a concrete block round my neck that I'm stuck with and he is a hindrance to my life.
How much longer will I feel this hurt? Will it get better? Please please give me some hope and something I can hold on to to help me cope x thanks for reading

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Heffalumps · 03/03/2015 22:30

Oh Gem, I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I don't think I have any advice really but I couldn't not reply.
I have been separated since June and divorced since October; my exh has a new girlfriend , DD has not yet met her, but he does put her before all our daughter's needs and care. I feel very angry with him and totally understand the concrete block round the neck feeling.....I know that I need to be civil and pleasant for the sake of DD but I would happily never set eyes on him again.
I am convinced that it will pass and it will get better, every day that I don't react to him and everyday that I feel ok and look at DD and see how amazing she is, I know it will get better.
for you
x

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GEM33 · 03/03/2015 22:32

Thanks heff xx

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jovialjulia · 07/03/2015 18:14

I've name changed recently but I remember reading your posts from a year ago and thinking how you wouldn't be so bitter a few months on. At the time quite a few people advised that you seek some help so that you could move past these feelings and I think the same advice stands today. If not for you then your kids, you need to be able to move on now.
I hope that doesn't sound to harsh. Have you looked in to CBT? It could be useful to you.
Good luck

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GEM33 · 08/03/2015 04:02

Hi yes. Have had counselling. Not tried cbt. Still feelin bad do some people take a while? Am I abnormal?

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jovialjulia · 08/03/2015 06:44

No, you're not. You just haven't found the right thing yet. I would try CBT. You'll be fine but you need to find a way of getting out of the same cycles of thought. It harder than any other type of grief or loss because your life is still so muddled together with your ex through your dd. A constant reminder.

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GEM33 · 08/03/2015 12:56

Yes you're right. I am plagued by same cycle of thoughts. Will look into it x

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HeadDoctor · 08/03/2015 13:05

It took me two years. He said something one day and it was like I suddenly came to my senses and it stopped hurting. You're not abnormal. This stuff hurts.

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GEM33 · 08/03/2015 13:14

Thanks head doctor. I do feel I've progressed a little but I still get anxious on contact days and tere are always issues. I still feel bitter that the woman he left me for gets to spend time with our dd and it just hurts that this is not the life I had planned for dd. he is very angry with me and we can't talk about anything without him being aggressive and it concerns me that he is so threatening toward me all the time.