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Will the pain go away?

(8 Posts)
Alibthomas3 Wed 12-Nov-14 21:19:58

My husband left me and my ds and dd almost 6 weeks ago now leaving me devastated and heart broken. What made it worse was that he moved in with somebody else. I am just recovering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder so am luckily on a high dose of AD. If I wasn't I truly think I wouldn't be able to get out of bed. I miss him every single minute of every single day and the grief is also a physical pain; it can take my breath away sometimes and the ache in my chest is unbearable. The only time I can cope with it is when I am with my children. My question is; will this go away? How can I help myself? I go for dog walks every morning, I am trying to keep myself busy but it just feels like it is getting worse. Will this ever stop?

Brightmoon Wed 12-Nov-14 22:18:34

Hi, so sorry to hear your story. It does get better, much better. My husband left me and my 12 month ds a year ago. I was devastated. He said he didn't know what he wanted, at one point he even said he didn't know if he wanted to be a full time dad. He stayed away for 6 months and then came back for 1 month. At the beginning of that month I found out he'd already seen a solicitor and he'd been carrying on with someone at his work. I was so upset. He left after 4 weeks. That was a few months ago and I can honestly say life is better without him. We deserve to be treated better. I feel upset for my ds as I never wanted this for him but he still sees his dad regularly and whilst it breaks my heart every time he goes I know its good for him. Try to do little nice things for yourself, catch up with old friends, makeover a room at home, treat youself to a new outfit, play with your children and enjoy being with them. It will get better, unfortunately not overnight but with a bit of time. Look after yourself. Big hugs. Xxx

foolonthehill Wed 12-Nov-14 22:19:42

Unbelievable as it may seem, yes the pain will go away. Like a bereavement there are lots of hard places that you will call in to along the way, pain, grief, anger, disbelief.

gradually you will emerge, gradually you will begin to live again rather than just going through the motions (which is a positive not a negative thing to be doing)

Treat yourself and your children with kindness. Expect to do only the necessary, enjoy the small pleasures of life, connect with nature, eat nice food, have baths, accept and ask for help when you need it. Demand little of yourself, set small goals if you can for each day. Hold your children close, cry with your friends and if you can't meet with them find anonymous friends on here.

you will survive,

eventually you will thrive.

much love to you
xx fool

Smukogrig Wed 12-Nov-14 22:23:03

How awful for you. There will come a time when u dont care. He sounds insensitive. Keep walking. Be kind to yourself.

alicemalice Wed 12-Nov-14 22:26:29

Have a read of this book, it describes all the acute pain you feel right now and why it's totally normal.

It does get better, I promise.

whyMe2014 Wed 12-Nov-14 23:43:41

It will dull eventually and you'll be able to function.

My stbxh left me and my 2 children in August for the OW (found out about her in September).

I still carry the pain everyday and if someone is nice to me sometimes it just all comes out and I find myself talking to complete strangers who have been very understanding.

You will find your own way of dealing with it and you'll come out stronger.
Keep posting on here and we'll help you through.

nochangewanted Thu 13-Nov-14 12:35:54

Do you know it will and you will start to see what he wasn't giving you...However it ist that old chestnut time...Keeping busy is one thing but make t things you enjoy too.

Alibthomas3 Thu 13-Nov-14 23:03:36

Thank you for your reassurance and advice xxxx

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